Monday, November 19, 2018

31 Mantra

Now that I've entered my 30s, I realize a few things. I'm a bit weary, a bit wiser and more obsessed with certain things over others. I personally am right in the middle of child rearing wonderland and the quest of a super career. These two don't blend well. Modern advice is, don't try to balance life and work. So I'm taking it. I've thrown balance out the window.

I'm the type of person who writes letters to her future self. Writes goals at the start of a new year. Looking back at goals 2016-2018, I achieved maybe one or two off the list. I would feel kind of depressed. Then I ask myself, why am I not achieving these goals? Is it my choice? When I answered yes, I felt better. So I decided to compromise on some things.

Then I was thinking, everyone has their challenges. Great people are great despite their challenges. Kind people are kind despite their challenges. My mindset in the past has been.. I need money to be the best I can be. It's shallow but empowering at the time. Roaring 20s. Then I got hit over and over. I started thinking.. what's the lesson in all of this? Is this simply my fate? what is life trying to teach me? Sometimes I cry "why me"?

I feel humbled and grounded. A little bit wiser, a little bit stronger.

I never truly appreciated the saying "pressure makes diamonds" before. But I think I understand a little now.

It's funny you think you know yourself all these while but you keep discovering something when you're forced to dig in. I'm not who I was 5 years ago, or even 2 years ago. It's been a crazy steep learning curve on all sides and I'm just glad I'm still in for the ride.

So what's my mantra when I turned 30? Be patient and kind. Also, make it happen!

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