Tuesday, May 23, 2017


Just a short update since forever!

I'm ganna come out and just say it! I'm preggers again! Lolz. Alhamdulillah. There are a few things that I planned on doing this year.. and to be honest getting pregnant again is not one of it. You can say it's a surprise.. I went into shock the first few weeks of finding out. I cried at the doctor's. 
Very dramatic stuff...

Hubs? I guess we went into shock in different ways. That's what I can say. 

Right now, we're.. getting there. Ibrahim is only 9 months old so this will be like the case of the Irish twins.. only different year. 

But again, alhamdulillah we have a lot of support from our families.. my parents and in laws, from daycare and from my wonderful maid. 

I worry about how would I balance my work & being a mom of three..... with 2 under the age of 2? There's breastfeeding involved. The time and effort needed is just wow. 

Ya Allah please give me strength to become the mother you want me to be. 

It's a process everyday.. some days are tough, some days are wonderful. I always remind myself that the babies will grow bigger so I better buck up. Actually since we found out about the baby many wonderful things happened.. we went to Krabi AGAIN. I LOVE my real estate work. Many many things that I can't express how grateful I am. 

My pregnancy is easy, again. No nausea or morning sickness.. I climbed Broga with Hubs & Naila when I was 3 months along.. 

I'm already 7 months along now and at most I get hungry alot. Alhamdulillah again. 

Ibrahim is 9 months old and thriving. Eating and playing lots. We're going to start sleep training him soon. 

I hope I can keep writing regularly. There's so many things unspoken that only makes sense when written down. 

Till then. 

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Labor Story (Induce)


One of the things that I’m obsessed with, is gentle birth. So I waited as long as I could with this pregnancy. 41 weeks to be exact. Here I was, thinking… Is the baby coming out at all? Is everything ok in there? I even had that feeling of “maybe baby wants to come out but he can’t!”

All the while, I started walking at the park again, climbed up and down the stairs—basically making myself busy with natural inducers. On the 41 week checkup, I settled some work stuff before going for the appointment. I felt pretty defeated at that point.

So during the check up, again, doctor found my baby’s heartbeat slow. I was wheeled into the labor room and strapped to the ctg. Doc mentioned “c-sec” which gave me a mini stroke. But again, the baby was fine according to the ctg. Doc gave me a recommendation to induce that night for the safety of myself & my baby. Otherwise, I can choose to wait ONLY another 3 days at my own risk.

OK let me tell you, I was very tempted to wait another 3 days but was the anxiety & my baby’s safety worth it? I’ve waited 10 months and one week! And the doctor gave me a stern recommendation which I didn’t take lightly.

So I went home, called hubs, spoke to my parents then prayed. To tell you the truth, I cried a bit. Then I bucked up and called the hospital to set the appointment for inducement. At this point, you can pretty much throw your birth plan out the window.


After putting Naila to sleep and kissing her goodnight, hubs sent me to the hospital around 10pm. After registration, we were brought to the room and I was hooked on ctg for I don’t know how long. They administered Prostin at around 12am. When I say ‘administer’ means they shoved the pill up my hooha ok. Not before the first of many vaginal examinations aka VE.

The whole experience up to this point is pretty bizarre to me. I was prodded, strapped to ctg and not allowed to move. Which is unlike my first labor. But then again, this is the standard procedure for being induced. Because Prostin or even pitocin drip could cause baby distress.

After an hour, I started feeling mild contractions. I tried to sleep because I knew that I was ganna need the energy later.. my 1st labor was very long, even up to the pushing stage. So I thought, maybe this one is the same?

I think I only slept for an hour because the contractions got stronger. I started walking around the room to ease the pain.. I also did squats because ya know, they can progress labor faster.

It’s funny.. time is infinity when you’re in labor. Because you’re just focusing on the contraction pain. I was walking and doing squats for about 2 hours come to think of it. The nurse came in at 6am to do ctg. Then did VE while I’m strapped to the CTG on top of handling strong contractions. Nurses, you’ve got no emotions!

Apparently I was 3cms already yay. The nurse told me to have my breakfast and freshen up. I’m entering the labor room at 8.30am for the pitocin drip and baby’s big debut! I wasn’t that hungry but forced myself to eat anyway. I took lots of dates. I woke hubs up *rolls eyes* He slept through the whole night because I was so quiet. *ROlls eyes*

Around 7am I was given an enema so you can quickly do the no. 2.

Shortly after that, the contractions pick up speed. The ctg was strapped again. The nurse could see that I was having stronger longer contractions and they got excited. When they’re excited, they do more VE. At that point I was like, go ahead!

This is where the trouble started. My baby’s heartbeat started dropping whenever I had a contraction. The nurses started scurrying around. Thing is, they never tell you anything, so I had to pull one aside and said “what’s going on?”

She said, “your baby’s heartbeat ‘tak cantik’.”

From their conversations, I knew my gynae has been informed and she’s on the way. They also mentioned c-section. I was praying and praying that my baby holds on & that my body cuts the crap and get to the pushing part already!

It all went very fast. I was 5cm when they wheeled me into the labor room. My contractions were painful and long. I was doing all this hypno visualizations of a flower blooming while taking deep breaths. But it’s really hard when the nurse keep telling me to sit still and not move.

“Belly up!”

“We need to see your baby’s heartbeat on the ctg!”

Woah the pain triples.

In the middle of that, the nurse hooked me to saline. It felt like too many things were happening at once.

Not long after that, I felt the urge to push. My water broke and I felt the gush.

The nurses started saying “serrum” to each other.

I alternate from panicking for my baby to taking deep breaths during contractions. It was 8.15am when I had the huge urge to push.

Remarkably, the nurses wanted me to breathe through the urge. “DON’T PUSH” was the instruction. Honestly I didn’t push but my freaking uterus was squeezing out the baby whether I wanted it or not.

It was very confusing at this point. The pushing urge were super intense.. every breathing technique forgotten.. the nurses didn’t want me to push but my baby’s heartbeat was dropping. They told me to lie sideways (oh NOW YOU WANT ME TO LIE SIDEWAYS), close my thighs and breathe air out with every urge to push. 


My hands were numb and shivering. I was hyperventilating.

At one of those urges, I felt the top of baby’s head! Still I wasn’t allowed to push.

The clock showed 8.23am. The longest 10 minutes of my life. After what felt like an eternity of torture, my gynae appeared, spread my legs and said, “when you feel the urge, push as hard as you can”.

Well no need the invitation. The baby just slipped out the moment she finished that sentence.

I heard my baby’s strangled cry. It was 8.25am. Alhamdulillah the hard part is over!

The placenta birth was straightforward, I didn’t even feel it. I still felt strong cramps and I was like, “my stomach hurts!” So the nurse handed me the laughing gas.. I inhaled so much, I was drugged good. Funny--laughing gas doesn’t make the pain go away, it just muddles your brain that you don’t know what you’re feeling anymore.


So in the end, the prostin meds were all that it took to induce my labor.. I was overdue anyway. It’s very different from a natural birth, in terms of everything. But I knew what was gonna happen and there was a high chance that my baby would get distressed and the panicking and the super fast birth. But I’m glad things turn out the way it did.

I didn’t take any epidural, and there’s no episiotomy. After the birth, I had an overwhelming feeling of tiredness & bewilderment. Things felt out of control and I just listened to the nurses and submitted. Because that’s what induction is.

The main difference between having a natural birth & an induced one is—level of control. And the feeling afterwards. With the natural birth, I remember feeling an energetic high. I had been in labor over 7 hours but I felt fresh and like I just won the first place in a marathon.

Contrary to being induced.

It was overwhelming, it was fast and furious. BUT. It definitely did the job. My stance has always been natural birth unless there’s danger to me or the baby.

So.. verdict on which is more painful? Natural birth or induce?

Hm. I would say induce pain is harder to manage, just because you’re constricted to the bed and that the pain gets strong very fast. But it’s still very very doable. It helps to google success stories and to read about mothers who birth 4 kids without pain medications and their comment? “It’s no big deal & it’s not weird, it’s just natural.”

There’s MANY reasons why you shouldn’t take epidurals.. you’ll be better off physically and spiritually. Recovery is faster. Your baby doesn’t get drugged. Many many more reasons. 

In conclusion, alhamdulillah my labor was straightforward & my baby came out healthy. Although I didn’t plan on getting induced, it’s in the best interest of myself & my baby. I’m also proud that I didn’t take epidurals both times. It’s all in the state of mind.

Okay over & out! Mommy wants to take a shower! If you’re interested to read about my first natural ‘gentle’ birth, go here –> LABOR STORY


Born on 26th July 2016, 8.25am

2.65 KG


Friday, June 10, 2016

Boba Carrier Review (2 Years Usage)

This review is sooo long overdue but here goes… I bought the Boba Carrier in 2013 at a baby fair so mine’s the 3G version. Started using it when Naila was 4 months old eventhough we bought it before she was born. I joined the babywearer’s FB group shortly after.. and found out that SSCs (soft structured carriers) aren’t suitable for babies below 4 months old because the baby’s back isn’t strong enough yet.

So for the first 4 months, I used the Boba wrap, which I’ll also do a short review later.

First of all, I love the carrier because it was so easy to put on. This is super important because I use the carrier everyday by myself. Even when you switch the carrier to another person, the straps are easy to adjust. You can get it done less than 5 minutes.

When I started using the Boba Carrier I thought it’s super comfy. The carrier fits my 5’2 frame just nice and hugs the baby. Naila was so comfortable in it that whenever I put her in, she’d quickly fall asleep! Alot of people commented on how Naila is a ‘good’ baby. But believe me, she’s only like that when in the carrier.

I am a work at home mom, and I used to take Naila out everyday… So you could say that I’m a heavy user of the carrier. It’s the ONLY carrier that I used for 1 and half years and the carrier still looks good and wears well! The material is sort of like canvas, very hardy. It has a hood which was SO SO useful when baby is asleep. There’s also a small pocket on the bottom of the carrier which comes in handy sometimes.


Check out the padding on this thing.. so thick! It was like lugging a bag instead of a 8kg baby.

When I’m alone, I usually prefer to use the Boba carrier. I mean, you can imagine having to carry a 7kg stroller and a 7kg baby at the same time.. Not pretty. So yeah the Boba carrier is a staple in my car.. I never took it out. Around 5 months old, Naila decided that she hates the stroller. So even hubs started carrying her in the carrier. Hubs is about 5’8, with a way bigger frame than me but the carrier can be adjusted and is also very comfortable for him.


Naila was 5 months old in the pic. Although, when hubs is wearing the baby, her legs tend to be splayed out more. And she seems to sink a little in the seat. I think it’s because hubs tends to wear it a bit lower on the hips. But again, in the carrier, Naila NEVER complains or cries. She just happily looks from side to side.

I know some parents prefer the forward facing carriers, and sometimes say their babies prefer it too. I think because I exposed Naila to this position since she was a month old, so she loves it! I also think that forward facing is a bit scary for small babies. Like, they’re more protected by facing in. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just paranoid or something.

When Naila was 5 months old, we started travelling around Malaysia. We took her to Cameron Highlands. Cameron Highlands has a cool weather, so walking outside is a breeze. We walked along the morning and night markets, did sight seeing around the orchids while wearing her. Me and hubs alternate wearing her for a few hours. She simply drifted in and out of sleep. Again, no complains! And Naila is so NOT the docile baby type. That’s why I love wearing her. She just simply switches on to zen mode in the carrier. The personality change is so obvious it’s funny.

With the carrier I’ve taken her everywhere actually. To the beach, sightseeing, we did trekking once. Walked inside buildings with ac, outside under the sun. What else…


7 months old Naila under the hood.


Carrying her at the beach with my trusty tan Boba carrier.


Baby almost falling asleep in the carrier.

Oh yeah! Did I mention you can wear the carrier on the back? When Naila was about 10 months old and VERY heavy, I started carrying her on the back. What could I say? A weight was lifted. I was carrying a normal backpack except that the content was breathing. One more thing I like about the carrier is that it has the strap to hold your handbag in place. OMG I am so thankful for this feature!

boba strap

This isn’t my photo, but I’ll just use it for demonstration purposes, just to show you where the strap is.

The strap is a lifesaver. Imagine carrying a baby and having to adjust your handbag every few minutes. It’ll get annoying pretty fast. With the strap, your handbag is held in place forevermore. Love it.

The only thing that I’ve never done in the carrier is to breastfeed. Maybe it’s just me but I don’t feel comfortable enough to breastfeed on the go. Somehow feels very exposed even though I know zillions of moms out there who successfully breastfeed while wearing the carrier without no one even noticing.

When I set out to look for a carrier, I wanted it to be convenient, ergonomic, reliable, hardy, comfortable and that baby loves it. I found all that in the Boba carrier. If this was a car, I’d equate it to be like a really reliable Toyota. No fuss, easy to find in stores and the price is reasonable considering that I’ve been using it for the past 2 years. It transits well from babies to toddlers.

All in all, 5 stars for the Boba Carrier.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Ramadhan & Third Trimester

I won’t be telling the truth if I said that Ramadhan this time around is not challenging. I’ve started to pray sitting down, and so far I’ve never missed a sahur. About eating habits, I’m used to eating often and I always always have a snack in my car and my handbag. And I usually bring a bottle of water with me everywhere I go, even in my bedroom at night. So fasting is a huge change for me.

For the first 2 days, I try to take it easy by just doing online work for De’ Bams. Physical activities make me soo tired nowadays. Even if I attempt to run an errand for a few hours outside, I’ll come back home as flat as a pancake.

Yesterday, I took an Arab family to view our shortstay apartment around 3pm. They’re looking to rent for a whole month. Normally, I don’t do viewings, unless they wanna stay 2 weeks or more. That morning, I did some errands for a few hours and got home around 12pm. Basically, I was already as flat as a pancake but I had to leave again at 2pm.

So when I arrived at the short stay some 15km away, I was expecting them to arrive on time but of course, keep in mind Murphy’s Law… when something bad can happen, it will happen… their Uber driver cancelled their request, so they had to wait for another taxi to get to my place. They arrived around 3.45pm… I had to tell myself over and over ‘PATIENCE’! At that time, my head was spinning and I was really feeling dehydrated. Travelling outside at 2 in the afternoon is no joke.. Temperature was a high 37C and you could feel the heat above your head.

The heat.. the fasting and carrying a pineapple sized human in your tummy is a bit too much for me to handle, I’ll admit. Thankfully, the viewing went smoothly when they arrived. And they confirmed the stay with us. Alhamdulillah. I love long term stays for one reason: I don’t have to clean up the apartment as often.

Hubs handles the reservations, so I’ve requested him to only accept long term stays in the next few months. I definitely want my maternity leave! That’s the downside of being self-employed. There’s no such thing as an extended leave. Taking a leave is a big effort and I won’t be staying at home for 43 days just taking care of the newborn. I’ll also have to do online work, paperwork, scheduling, delegating tasks to other people.. To top it off, there’s Naila.


My Arab guest who has 5 kids (aged 17 to 16 months! GASP!) wished me good luck with the new baby. She asked me whether I’m planning to have another one? Bwahahahhaha… My answer was I’m taking a looong break from baby making after this one!


On another note, I would like to wish Ramadhan Mubarak to all Muslims out there. May your Ramadhan be filled with mercy & forgiveness.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Positive Changes From Playschool

Hi! My mom and dad weren’t very keen on the idea of me sending Naila to playschool from the very beginning. They said it’s too early for her. Naila will be 3 in October.

They could be right but I have a few reasons for sending her:

1. So she doesn’t get bored while I do work

2. It’s only 3 hours

3. It’s only playschool where she PLAYS the whole time she’s there

4. She and I need a distraction when the new baby swings by

My main reason has always been No.4 because I don’t know how am I going to handle a newborn and a clingy toddler at the same time.

Like any other moms out there, I combed the area and paid a visit to 4-5 centres before finally settling on one. I think it’s a mom thing because hubs really don’t understand ‘why can’t I make up my mind’. Of course I’ve got criterias! DUHHHH.

English, Islamic and Play-based. Those are my criteria and they extend to little details like what is the daily schedule like, how many kids in the class, who’s the teacher… yada yada. To cut the story short, I found the right place at the end of April.

The trial was only two days, then I enrolled her full time in May. Now it’s been 3 weeks. She doesn’t say a word about school, even when I ask her. Teachers said she’s doing well. She cooperates and listens to instructions, plays along well with other kids. So I decided not to push her. She’ll tell me something when she’s ready.

Then came last week. We were upstairs, my mom, me and Naila. Mom said it’s time for dinner. Naila actually cleans up her stuff. We didn’t even have to ask! We were standing there looking at her quietly flabbergasted. She cleaned up the whole area!

During the same weekend, we visited my mil’s. Naila’s 1 year old cousin Addeen was there. To our surprise, there wasn’t any shouts or cries heard the whole day. We actually caught them sitting on the carpet together having a picnic. Naila gave a cup to Addeen and they spent 5 minutes ‘drinking’ together!

Just to get things straight, Naila is NOT a sharer and she doesn’t clean up her toys, no matter how much we encourage her. So she must’ve gotten these habits from her playschool. Major lovee.

It’s still early days but looks like she’s picked up some good habits already. It’s the only thing I ever wish for!


Thursday, May 26, 2016

Meeting the one, Husbands & Babies

It’s getting to that stage where you wake up in the middle of the night and it’s hard to go back to sleep. Owh I remember this phase very well. The baby is squirming and kicking.

I was kinda lamenting my freedom in the first few months of having a new baby. You know, the multiple diaper change, feeding, burping especially in the middle of the night. Then hubs said ‘you wanted this baby’. That literally just shut me up. It’s true. It’s my mantra ever since we got married. 2 before 30. Paranoid I’ll be too tired by the time I’m 30… hahaha

I don’t know why I plan these things. I guess I felt like I had to fit it in with my other stuff like building a business empire (doesn’t go the way I planned it) and traveling the world (partly satisfied with it). Some people stumble into success seemingly overnight and that’s their blessing.

Everybody has their challenges and we can’t always see it. Darn social media for making everything look shiny and all glitters.

I’m ganna be honest here, I never liked babies. I mean you know, last time before I had one. Someone can hand over a baby to me and I’m gana be like, please somebody hellpp meee. I can’t see how people thought they were cute. I mean, CATS are cute. Babies… can’t see it. For sure NObody thought I would be a mom.

At least that’s the vibe I got. People also probably think that I’d be a shi**y housewife because I didn’t know how to cook and that I would marry late. In school I thought that I would marry late because other people had boyfriends and I don’t and I can’t talk to boys because I get nervous.

Actually that changed when I met hubs. The 1st time I saw him, he was more nervous than I am. I KNEW he was the ONE. For a while :) Then there’s many years of drama I don’t know how we even survived. Seven years. That’s how long we knew each other before getting married. Then the ONE wasn’t the one. But then what is he? Those were seriously confusing times.

When we finally got married, I thought to myself ‘who knew?’ And I’m glad, he knows me so well. He didn’t marry me for my cooking or housewifing skills that’s for sure. Lol. I’m glad I married that bespectacled, unemployed, alternative music nerd because he turned out to be a lasiked and working engineer 5 years later. Plus he tolerates my Taylor Swift binge and I caught him mumbling Wildest Dreams a few times. Love you hubs <3

And eventhough I used to be impartial towards babies, I think I did a freaking good job with Naila.

Pats on the back.

Okay now I can go back to sleep. Till next time.

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