Thursday, April 2, 2020

DAY 16 Movement Control Order Covid19

Today is an especially hard day. I tried to be productive by updating my website but with 3 kids running around it's just impossible. I really lost my temper today with the kids. It's not really their fault, they have been stuck indoors for 16 days.

Yesterday we received all the toys I ordered from lazada. I figured it will keep them distracted for a while. Honestly I was never one who likes buying more stuff for the kids. In fact, their toys are quite minimal.. and we do toys rotation every few weeks. However, staying home and not going out for 2 weeks does things to you so I caved and bought them those toys.

I don't think it works any better than giving them a cardboard box to decorate. In fact, playing with cups, decorating cardboard boxes and drawing with youtube keeps them occupied longer.

I was mulling over the idea of sending my son to my parents who are 5 minutes away. We'll see how that goes.

The days are up and down. Some days are productive, some days are just a downer, but I notice it to be worse when I don't start the day with a 10-15 minute family exercise.

I really hope the mco will be over by 14 April. I really miss going to work, seeing people and some semblance of normal life. Take care everybody, let's flatten the curve.

Monday, March 30, 2020

DAY 14 Movement Control Order COVID 19

I believe we need to thrive no matter in what situation we're in. We as humans, the strong ones pivot and adapt to changes. And I believe that's what we need to do. I foresee a difficult unknown future.

In the immediate future,
what would working be like?
what would Ramadan be like?
what would Raya be like?
would we be able to hold big events again?
How long will this go on?

Just thinking about it and listening to the news makes you really anxious.

I've started reading quran in the morning again.
This is definitely a test and how do you fare?
Only god knows what will happen, and the only logical thing to do now is to turn to god.

Confide in him about your fears, about your anxiety.

We don't know anything about how things will pan out and I think I've accepted that. That's not going to change. This might go on for a long time, which we also don't know.

I'm ready for all possibilities.

Be strong everyone, we're in for a bumpy ride.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

DAY 12 Movement Control Order Covid 19

The hardest part of the movement control order is to keep the kids occupied because if they're not, they'll be fighting like cats and dogs.

It's easy to be fixated on our lives within the small four walls everyday but I keep reminding myself that this catastrophe is bigger than all of us.

I cannot imagine running a business and having to close down for a month. Yet, still having to pay rent and workers wage. I know my previous business wouldn't have survived.

Me and hubs are bracing ourselves for a longer control order. We need to work on what we have now rather than thinking about going back to our normal. Otherwise it'll be depressing.

I've been throwing myself into analyzing stocks. When I'm obsessed, I'm obsessed.

I'm grateful for being in a position to help rather than be helped.

I'm grateful for my family
I'm grateful for my apartment
I'm grateful for cat
I'm grateful for my work
I'm grateful for my dryer
I'm grateful for my notebook
I'm grateful for the internet

I'm grateful to those working so hard on the front lines while we get to be safe and warm in our homes.
I'm grateful for our new rulers
I'm grateful for those working hard from home, teaching people their knowledge for free
I'm grateful for having food to eat.

Take care and stay safe everyone.
We can get through this! 

Friday, March 27, 2020

DAY 9 Movement Control Order Covid-19

3 days ago, hubs tested negative for covid19. That's a weight off my shoulder, especially when I started sniffling and coughing too.

Turns out its just a normal nasty cold.

The days are normalizing. I don't even have to think about what I'll do. It's now almost a routine. Either me or hubs will wake up to make the kids' milk. Then we'll do chore dance effortlessly. If he did the milk, then I start breakfast, feed the kids.

The kids will then shower for 10-15 minutes, usually a bubble bath request.
It's a simple mark in the day. Shower in the morning to start the day. Shower in the evening to end the day.

Yesterday I decided to start making more video content. I don't usually know how to ramble on for a long time because my monologue is in my head. However, no time is better than now to learn rambling about nothing!

I'm starting to form this routine in my house:

wake up, solat
make milk
read quran
make breakfast & feed kids while watching Property brothers or anything on HGTV
shower
give kids shower
Hubs start work via video conference
tidy up house
exercise with kid's video choice
Whatsapp time with friends/ family/ clients


===== 10.30am by this time

Do some kind of activity with kids,
usually to give them a choice.. artwork or toy rotation
sneak away after playing with them for 30 minutes
Start my work - more content creation & breaks in between to handle kids
Kids watch TV or play games on the ipad

===== 2pm

The boys nap for an hour
I'll read a book/latest news browsing during this quiet time
Order food or cook food
Obsessively browse latest world happenings
Whatsapp time with friends/ family/ clients
Let kids active play, jump run, physical activity

=====7pm

dinner
kids shower
final kids tv show
make milk
brush kids teeth
Kids bedtime

======8.30-9pm

By day 9, the situation is getting bad out there but I'm very confident with the way the government is handling things. It's starting to make me feel safe. BNM just announced a 6 month automatic moratorium on all loans which is huge for the country. 

Saturday, March 21, 2020

DAY 4 Movement Control Order Covid 19

I cooked breakfast as usual today. Bread is finished. We bought two loaves before MCO and it's gone because my kids constantly munches on bread at home. Online Tesco order is full for the next week, so I have to go out get it by myself.

I went to the first 99speedmart but bread is out of stock. Okay, very convenient. So I went to another 99 speedmart. Also gone. One of the shopkeepers told me people fight over bread when the lorry sends them in the morning. I asked, "EVERY MORNING?" "Yup."

Un-be-lie-vable.

If it doesn't feel like an apocalypse already, that seals it. We rely on bread. I rely on bread. More than rice because rice is everywhere but bread is scarce.

So I went home with a plastic full of buns, cake and biscuits. I still have fish meat and fruits at home.

Had a covid19 gossip session with friends over whatsapp.

The kids made a mess, today is no exception but I let them. What else are they supposed to do?

I did some paperwork in the morning and completely forgot that it's saturday. 

It started raining at 2pm all the way to 5pm and the whole family nap together. It's been awhile since we did that because we are hardly ever home during weekends.

So far, I've been consistent on exercise this week, I think I need it to keep myself going. I did abs, legs and full body the past 3 days and the kids joined too.

Before the whole MCO, I have to admit that I didn't read any updates on the virus, only preferring to listen to the official sources. Funny when you're on restriction order, you simply gobble up every piece of coronavirus news fake or genuine and completely psyche yourself up.

There are moments that I simply take a step back and tell myself grounding statements. This too shall pass. covid 19 is like any virus out there. Be healthy and take care of your mental well-being.

Towards the end of day 4, I miss freedom ultimately but at the same time, it isn't too bad because I'm forced sloww dowwn. Everyday is gift and I'm taking it.

Thursday, March 19, 2020

DAY 2 Movement Control Order COVID19

I don't think I'm the only one thrown by the sudden movement restriction order. It came suddenly as the Covid 19 spread like wildfire out of nowhere. In January, we decided to plan a holiday in March with another family.

The news of a new coronavirus appeared one week after we've booked our flights and accommodation. So we were very 50-50 on that turning into a reality. However, near the end of March, the cases remained stagnant below 100. I decided to tell Naila that we're going ahead and we started counting down the days on the calendar.

The cases then spiked to 30, 41 then 190 a day. I knew we had to cancel then. In the midst of cancelling, our new PM announced that we're having a movement restriction order for two weeks with only one day to prepare.

At the moment of announcement it felt like our lives were upended. I never do things half-heartedly. This mama is staying in with her family indoors for 2 weeks. Yes it's happening. Basically everything must be closed down except for essential services. So our week sitting in begins, and we're not supposed to even leave the house to go to the playground downstairs.

At times like these, I WISHED we're staying at a landed home. So I could at least let the children out to play in the compound.

Let's be real, 3 small hyper active kids under house arrest is not ideal.

Plus husband & I are supposed to work. One day before MCO, hubs came back and said his colleague sitting beside him was suspected of covid19. Then hubs started feeling unwell. I called the covid 19 hotline but was greeted by a really sleepy officer who told me that they will not do testing unless his friend is a confirmed suspect.

So there's that. Too much to process in a day. I think I thrive on routines. When the routine is disrupted I feel really lost. I know I'm supposed to wing it like many many others out there but it feels unnerving. I've never read so much covid 19 news as much as the past 2 days and it's easy to feel a little doomed.

Real estate and stock market are talking about a bear market. This is inevitable. This will be the first real recession I'll be going through as an adult. It's scary. My whatsapp hasn't stopped pinging from covid 19 updates from ALL groups. It's unnerving. I can't stop scrolling looking for answers from more experienced people in the industry and they're hopeful of a light at the end of the tunnel.

Yesterday was a somewhat productive day in terms of nurturing the kids. I distracted myself by cooking, cleaning up the house by mopping every few hours because you know, kids. I even finished editing a home tour video.

Hubs was literally out cold the whole day yesterday. Like he didn't wake up in the morning and continued sleeping until evening. I checked his temperature but it was fine. Last night he finally woke up and we ate instant noodles and watched the titans.

I woke up this morning in a blur. Like, what am I going to do today to entertain my family? I cannot let them watch tv all day. They've already finished the new puzzles and coloring books I've bought them. I'm supposed to get back to work.

I made pancakes for breakfast and announced that I don't want to cook anymore for the rest of the day. Hubs woke up this morning, announced that he's doing SO MUCH BETTER today. He took 2 pieces of pancakes and said your pancakes are good. And went straight to Skype meeting with his colleagues.

MEN.

He takes care of the kids and even housework but somehow I'm shouldering the responsibility in terms of activities, what to eat, kids well-being. And I panic if I don't work. As we go into MCO, I realize that my situation is vulnerable. I'm not supposed to go out for viewing. And if there's no viewing and meeting people, then there's no close. No close, no salary no money.

There's no guidelines as to what to do in a situation like this. That's why I'm going back to writing. When in doubt, write.

Today the covid 19 cases is at 110. No signs of going down yet. First 2 deaths happened yesterday. I hope everyone is finding solace that we're all going through this together. Stay safe & stay home guys! 
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