How To Have Healthy Weight and Keep Fit After 3 Kids

As of today, I weigh 51 KG at 157cm. Not exactly thin, but not over the normal limits in BMI. 

I have maintained this weight for the past 8 years. Before that, my weight hovered around 47-48kg so, I was never overweight. 

I realize that people say this has something to do with genetics and I agree to some point. However, I believe if I let loose, I would gain weight as easily as anybody. 

Maintaining healthy weight is a mentality and a lifestyle, not using quick tricks which will take you nowhere. 

There are a few things that changes once you have children: 

1) Body fat distribution. This one is a wonder. Your fat stores are used in ways you never imagine. One day you wake up with a butt, one day it's gone. One day, it's back but it looks different. If you've had children you'll know. 

2) Body posture. This one creeps up on you. At first, I didn't notice, then one day I caught my self in the mirror and I became conscious of it. After carrying children for 10+10+10 months, your posture suffers and there's that tendency to slouch. 

3) Muscle tone. I believe I lost muscle tone after my three pregnancies, although I'm not sure that's due to age or because of pregnancies. 

I think I spoke about it before. After my third pregnancy, I felt like a blob. And I had to find myself, so I started exercising intentionally. I started consistently in January 2019. One year and half in. 

Exercise is a huge part of giving me a confidence boost, so much that I didn't care how much I weigh anymore, simply because I was feeling really good about my body. I was strong and toned at the height of my consistency. 

The second part goes to food. A few things that we maintain as a family that I think helps ALOT in maintaining my weight (and hubs actually!) so far. 

- When we got married in 2011, me and hubs decided that we will eat dinner before 7pm. And no food afterwards except snacks like bread etc. I'm proud to say that we have maintained this until now. We don't get hungry after 7pm because we're just so used to it. 

Although when I was breastfeeding, I did have heavy supper. Later I found out 'intermittent fasting' which has a similar concept of limiting eating time. 

- Starting with our first daughter, we eliminated sugary drinks and juice from our fridge. Yes, we had a very logical discussion about it, looking back. We maintain this until now. 

- I drink only plain water. When indulging, only ordering half-sugar. Your taste buds will adjust and think everything else is too sweet. 

- I do have a sweet tooth for desserts and chocolates. But I balance it out by not taking sweet drinks. 

- I have always been a slow eater. But looks like it's in my favor now! Did you know that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to register being full?  

- I also avoid fried food whenever eating out. 

So, my tips may sound mundane and simple. But maintaining it long term is the real key. 

We started adding on new good habits like, always having a banana at home. 

One more important thing is that your family must also adopt this change, otherwise it'll be hard to maintain the lifestyle if you're the only one drinking plain water all the time. 

EDIT: 

- The goal is never to be slim. But to be fit and healthy, thus the title of this blog post. There's no point of starving and not being able to enjoy life but to take a wholesome and moderate way of keeping fit. 

I would like to swim, run and hop with my children, and hopefully my grandchildren. I don't want health to be an issue as I grow older. As you know, being overweight contributes to a plethora of health problems including diabetes, high blood pressure, hormonal imbalances. There's alot more, you name it. 

My next step would be to take care of our food. After MCO, I have a huge urge to eat home cook meals only. And making sure there's alot of anti-oxidant fruits at home. 

Lately, my daughter has been requesting nuts. Even I don't eat nuts for fun. But let me just say this, eating healthy and taking care of your health rubs off on children as well. Do it for the health of your family and the next generation. 

Yours truly, 

Mom of three

You Won't Be Able to Stop Time Even If You Want To

 


So this is the year that Naila starts her standard one. I can't believe I've been a mom for 6 years! 6 years since my life changed forever and having to be an adult. Before long, my two boys are going to follow suit. Oh please slow down time!

I'm going to miss my boys saying "I Loove Mommy! Love Mommy!" before going to sleep. I'm going to miss Naila say "I want 3 kisses." Yes! they do that every single day. And it makes me laugh that lately, Ibrahim's way of softening a blow when he wrecked something is by starting with "I loove mommy" out of a sudden.

Life is fleeting, kids are tiring but wonderful.

And though they're very young, I try to be as transparent with them as possible. Naila's starting to rationalize and is a keen observer, so I keep my explanations honest and simple. Sometimes she gives her own explanations and I get dumbfounded by how insightful she is. I'm like, I'm raising a smart kid... I have to buck up.

The other day, she asks, "why does Allah let good people die." It took me a second to answer that.

Where to enroll for standard one is one big question after preschool. She's had such head start by attending Brainy Bunch for 2 years and it's such a pity to not continue her studies in that direction. All the surah's, the ideology, the theories, stories, is something that I can never teach her alone. So this is the responsibility that me and hubs are taking for her. We enrolled her in a private islamic elementary school which I might share about later.

As of now, I'm enjoying the December slow down, cuti-cuti Malaysia and all that. Looking forward to a new year full of challenges and possibilities. 

Mental Health Well-being

I blogged about starting to exercise before. By now, I've made it a commitment to do it every single day except the weekend. The things that it does for my overall well-being is just short of amazing.

I don't know how to NOT make this sound like an advert but gosh. I just needed to say something somewhere. When I say exercise, it's actually short 10-20 mins bursts of HIIT. So it's quick, intense but so so effective.

So my morning routine goes like this:-

6.45/7am - Wake up, gets kids ready for kindy & daycare, breakfast
7.15am - Hubs send oldest to kindy & goes to work
8.30am - Send the toddlers to daycare
9am - Reach home, vacuum the house, feed cat, water plants, feed fish & tiny home touch ups
9.30am - Start HIIT. I LOVE Pamela Reif's
10am - Short shower
10.15am - Start work

I've been doing it consistently almost everyday since early of the year. I don't even think about my weight anymore because doing this, you get toned up so you don't really care anymore. Most days, I work on abs because hello three kids really mess up your middle! But yeah omg if you work on it everyday, you start seeing the muscles toning up and you start losing anything extra.

Plus it's so motivating when you start seeing some parts shrinking and lifted!

It sounds so simple, I started with 10 mins only, but the key word is EVERYDAY. Well, weekends for me is impossible because kids climb on me when I'm planking, so no thank you.

On the days that laziness start creeping in, I quickly remind myself that I have this amazing time in the world that I didn't have just one year ago. If I'm not using this time to get in shape, then what useless piece of meat am I? I choose to work flexible hours so I get to do things I can't normally do if I work 9-5. So I do have lazy days but I'm happy to say to I've been fairly consistent.

What's the aftermath besides feeling fit? Being in my line of work, you tend to get more rejections than yesses, so being fit also helps me feel a lot more positive. You also get less tired and more energetic. You sleep well.

I don't know if this is a plus, because you have to spend money (!) but I've swung from S size to M size but now definitely back to true S size.. so alot of my M sized clothes are baggy on my frame now.

So there you have it.. some of my friends have commented that I looked the same from uni days, but it isn't true because if you've gone through pregnancy, giving birth and nursing (x3) you are definitely NOT the same. It's a conscious effort to keep fit and to control eating habits. But I'll share that next time. 

Raising Daughter

Do you have a goal for your kids? Sometimes I look at my kids and wonder, is it enough to feed and clothe them. Is it enough to expect they will learn something by looking at us?

I admit the first years of their lives is extremely tiring. Any plans you had about anything can be thrown out the window because you can barely think most of the time. I fought hard to work past the maternal fog in the beginning and it slowly cleared without me noticing it.

Now I'm back to 100% in terms of brain power, I'm pretty sure. Then I realized that I've been on autopilot for so long that I barely planned anything for my kids, which pretty much deviated from my original parenthood dreams.

The time is now to change though.

STTN Baby

When you're a mom of three, a few things that really matters to us just seem weird to other people. We say words like STTN, SAHM, WAHM. Like yay finally STTN! Anyway, my kids aren't fully STTN or Sleeping Through The Night. Why is this so important? Because when you get woken up a few times at night for the past 2 years literally, you kinda look forward to it.

One thing I notice about having two kids so close in age.. is one would be getting over one stage.. and the other would suddenly enter that particular stage. So it's like dealing with a prolonged stage. It's wonderful and chaotic.

So Ibrahim has gotten all his teeth.. and stopped waking up at night, he sleeps like a log now. Hassan on the other hand, has started the waking-up-screaming phase, which is a mixture of tooth growth and nightmares.

We tried putting Naila to sleep in a separate room, but sometimes she ends up disrupting us in the middle of the night. Seriously feels like we never left the newborn stage at night! I'm still waking up a few times to calm Hassan down.

But one good thing is that they know how to put themselves to sleep. A few months ago, I almost got into a depression because I was sleeping at 9pm every night. Yes. Totally depressed for sleeping early. It'll be nice if it was my choice.. but it wasn't. I was putting the kids to sleep and I fell asleep accidentally because the bed was cool, and soft and I'm normally already tired at the end of the day.

What I did was to dig back all my materials on self soothing. Yes it's very controversial and many people don't agree with it, but if it draws the line between happy and insanity, you might wanna give it a try.

And once it worked, sanity restored 100%. I had my leisure night time again. I'll share some best practices for self soothing some other time but it seriously saved my life.

Hassan is 1.5 years now.. he should be fully STTN by the time he's 2-ish. Basically it's another year. I can do this! 

6 Mommy Budget Hacks

Hi!!! Having three children isn’t a walk in the park. Nor are they friendly for your wallet. That’s why over the years I’ve become very savvy with spending on a budget. I’m still learning and discovering new outlets but so far, I think I’m doing good. I’ve never been this earth friendly until I have 3 kids!

1. DIAPERS

The most budget friendly at this point will be cloth diapers. I thought about it, even purchased a bundle in 2013 but decided against it because it didn’t fit our lifestyle. So I settled with the next best thing – bulk diaper buying.

My kids wear Drypers. So far they’ve been very practical and does containment exceptionally well. Currently I’m using 2 different sizes, S and L. So I buy them in a box usually from Lazada or Tesco (online of course). They cost me an average RM75 per box.

If I have to buy them loose, I’ll pick a packet from 99speedmart. Their prices are the lowest.

2. MILK POWDERS

Ibrahim, my 2nd born is on soy milk, Isomil. An 800g tin would cost around RM80 in Aeon. Different 99Speedmart has different pricing. But so far the cheapest is at chinese supermarkets. My place is near a few of these chinese supermarkets. Their selling price for a tin is RM69. The catch? No debit/credit. Only Cash.

3. ONESIES & CLOTHING

Onesies are a babies staple clothing. My babies at home are in onesies 99% of the time. They’re just so convenient and versatile. I get nice Gap and Next rejects at Plaza Massalam for RM10 each.

4. SECOND HAND ITEMS

I promise this isn’t as icky as it sounds. We Malaysians love shiny new things. Why not go green and get second hand items. You have to be smart about buying 2nd hand. For me personally, I try to choose items that are NEW or LIGHTLY USED. Yes, they exist on the second hand market… and usually at a fraction of a brand new price. NEW/LIGHTLY USED items I’ve purchased before: sneakers, baby rocker, pregnancy waist extender & car seat.

Not everything secondhand is good. You’ll have to be picky but I assure you that it’s worth it and very satisfying when you score a great bargain. Some sellers only use things once or twice before deciding they don’t want something. Proceed with caution though, because bargain hunting this way is very addictive.

For important items, I always do COD, which means that you go pick up the items personally so you can see the condition with your own eyes.

My secondhand bargain port: Carousell App for nice novelty items, Preloved Facebook group, Preloved baby goods Malaysia Facebook group, Mudah.my, Expat KL group for furnitures

5. GENERAL EVERYDAY

Always try to shop at one place and get a membership. One that allows you to collect points and redeem vouchers sort of thing. I choose Tesco because I can either shop physically or online and it allows me to collect points both ways.

6. FURNITURE/ELECTRONICS

Always compare prices on LAZADA. They have the best prices hands down. I’ve done comparisons with Seng Heng / Aeon / Courts / Harvey Norman etc but LAZADA takes the cake for cheapest price. This goes for bigger brands like Panasonic, Tefal, KDK. We’ve purchased beds for our homestays on LAZADA. Cheap & arrives within 2 weeks.

Do you have any favorite hacks to share?

Wonder in These Years

We’re starting to settle into a normal routine. We get up around 6.30-7am. Everybody has breakfast, shower. Hubs leave around 7.30 – 8am. I send Naila to school around 8.30am. I started taking Ibrahim with me lately so after sending Naila, we sometimes walk downstairs at the playground area.

Then I ask my maid, Dewi to play downstairs with Ibrahim. I put baby to sleep. I’m starting to exercise a bit but I don’t have a fixed routine yet. I start doing work on the laptop. Follow ups, putting up ads, attending to enquiries. On days that I have to go out, I’ll maneuver around that timing.

Sometimes I leave Naila in school. I try not to leave all 3 kids with my maid for more than 2 hours. Sometimes I’ll take one of the babies with me for viewings or meetings or inspections. If I plan to leave the baby at home, I’ll pump milk in the morning. I don’t collect frozen expressed milk, only a few bags in the freezer for emergency too long outings. So far I haven’t used them for baby.

I usually pick up Naila at 12pm. The kids nap in the afternoon except for Naila who usually does her colouring/play doll house/lego/sticker book or ipad time. Afternoons are usually varied depends on whether I leave house or not that day.

By 4pm I usually wrap up my laptop time though I still answer calls or messages. I take them down to the playground while my maid cooks. 6-6.30pm we have dinner. Bath time. Story time. Mengamuk time. If I’m not too tired we do our sleeping time routine.. play shadows, read books or telling stories with a flashlight in the dark. Actually this is only possible if the baby is asleep or he’s surprisingly quiet. By 8.30pm, lights off.

The kids will usually be asleep by 9pm. If I don’t accidently fall asleep as well, I’ll wake up to update my listings, make a to do list for tomorrow. Then if it’s still early, I watch a movie or tv series. I gotta be honest. I love my nights. I wouldn’t be able to survive without my nights!

The days are long, but the years are short.

I still remember the days with Naila alone, and thinking “this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done”. Obviously I haven’t met Ibrahim and Hassan yet at that point! Honestly if I see other moms out there, I’ll be like “how the heck does she manage?” I sometimes ask myself the same question but the answer is that.. you just do.

It’s one day at a time.. Suddenly everybody is grown up. Naila is turning 4. Ibrahim has started walking. Hassan has started smiling. 2 months ago Hassan was still a bun in the oven!

I will never forget these wonderful years. Tiring, but wonderful.

Pantang with three

I’m not going to attempt to write a backstory to all this. As it is now, I currently have an almost pre-schooler, a toddler and a newborn. I’m nearing the end of pantang but it wasn’t much of a pantang to be honest. I broke all the rules of pantang. Not wearing socks? Checked. Go up and down the stairs? Checked. No urut? Checked. Carry heavy objects? Checked. The heavy object is actually my one year old bumbling Ibrahim who’s 9.5kg.

Aiyaya…

As my number of births go up, I start to have a different perspective on pantang. Right now, for me berpantang is being comfortable, enjoying my time with the babies, eating healthy food most of the time and funny enough, catching up on afternoon naps. I have a newborn and a toddler.. can’t say I’m catching up on nighttime sleep.

The first week was a breeze. (My confinement is always at mom’s house and we have a maid. It was very manageable because my mom basically insists that I do nothing at all other than to tend to the newborn)

The second week was when the horror started. Naila came back from school with a viral fever that turned out to be HMFD. Then, surprise.. Ibrahim caught it. So bye-bye sleep. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and can’t even drink his milk. It was horrible! My poor baby.

The worst part is when I cannot touch or hold him because we didn’t want it to spread to the baby. HMFD is worse than chicken pox. I mean the effect on him. He was crying and wanted to be carried all the time.

But luckily the baby didn’t catch it.

By now nothing is shocking anymore. I’ve become the unfazed mother.

Daughter HMFD with 2 babies in the house? Manageable.

One year old crying asking to be picked up while holding newborn? Manageable.

3 kids crying for milk at the same time? Manageable.

I’m not saying that I’m doing it all alone.. I’ve got mom, dad, husband, bibik and my two brothers occasionally. So it’s VERY manageable. I’ll say compared to when I was alone handling only one baby. That was harder because I’ve got no one to pass the baby to.

My pantang days are almost over. We’re ganna have to settle into the new normal. I never ever in a billion years imagine that I’ll be a mom of three by 30 but it’s always funny how things turn out, right?

Getting Ma Babies To Sleep Early

Both my babies are sleeping while I'm writing this. They usually go to sleep around 8-8.30pm. It started before Naila was born and hubs gave me this one baby sleep book. So being the excited first time mom, I read like, 10 parenting books even before I delivered. I ate them up.

But one thing I really feel I need is my sleep. If that sounds selfish.. well you know they say that you have to take care of your self first, to become the best mom for your children. Because you gotta give and give and give. What happens if you're out of steam?

That's when you start becoming mommy monster. Not that I've never been.. but the key word here is 'trying' to take care of yourself.

So that's why I started putting my babies to sleep early.

I love my alone time.. I think I'm more of an introvert, I need my space. Even from my babies. ESPECIALLY from my babies after a looonngg day.

And I love having adult conversations at the end of the day with hubs, as opposed to baby talk the rest of the day.

Anyway according to the books that I've read.. babies are programmed to sleep early.. you just have to help them go to sleep! I've got friends who complained that their babies won't sleep way into midnight.. and I think the babies are just too overstimulated.

Naila is currently 3 years old and Ibrahim is 11 months old.. Both have NEVER slept past 9pm except during Raya or special times. We went on vacation and they slept at 8.30pm outside. So yeap we trained 'em good.

During Naila's time I was very methodical.. as in we had a sleep routine down to the minutes. When Ibrahim came along, I had to adjust for 2.. and I might skip a few things one day.. and do it another day. But it's really the same routine overall.

NUMBER 0: Last nap of the day ends at 5pm, or 3pm depending on their age. Let them play outside.. burn some energy, swim or do whatever that keeps them occupied.

NUMBER 1: Start bathing them around 6.30pm. Or sometimes they eat first.

NUMBER 2: Eat dinner. Around 7pm.

NUMBER 3: Play... puzzles, books, colouring.. sometimes things get out of hand with 2 kids because they'll end up overexcited but I always try to get them to wind down. Maybe play with torchlight in the dark.. That's Naila's favorite. Until around 8.15pm. I'll squeeze in Maghrib prayers while the kids play & hubs take over for a few mins.

NUMBER 4: Lights off. By 8.30PM. Or earlier if I'm too tired.

They will doze off within 15 mins.

Rinse and repeat for the next 10 years! HAha.

I know it sounds simple but only if you start early. And as a parent, I had to stick to schedule every single day. I'm not ashamed to admit that I really love this part because once they're asleep, I'm FREEEEE.

I started training them since they're 1 month old.. before that newborns are just too little to care about routines. And newborns are adjusting to alot of things. They don't know the difference between napping in the morning and sleeping at night.

Everybody has a circadian rhythm or 'sleep wake body cycle' and in babies, they're not developed yet. So first thing is to teach them that we sleep at night.. starting 8pm, it's lights off for the baby. If the baby doesn't want to sleep, just let them lie there in the dark... with you of course.

If they wake up at 3am cooing and you smell poo.. just change their diapers as fast as possible and get back to bed. No playing, no making faces, no talking to them. I swear the baby will get it within a month. They'll poo and cry.. but they will be asleep when you change them.

The baby will be prepped by the time he's 2 months old. Some babies start sleeping through the night.. of course mine doesn't.. I bf my babies but I still manage to get them to sleep by 8.30pm and by 9 months, they're sleeping through the night.

I know, some people will be like, why do I need to put my kids to sleep early? I like having them around!

NUMBER 1: Babies need 14 hours sleep for their development. Some babies don't even like to nap...so getting them to sleep early is one way to fill up their sleep quota.

NUMBER 2: Good habits die hard. And I believe sleeping early is a good habit to have especially when they start school. And haven't you heard? Successful people wake up very early in the morning to start their day. Sleep early=wake up early. Subuh pun senang. Ehem.

NUMBER 3: Like I said... I get some alone time.. to zone out on my phone, to talk to hubs, to read, to clean up the mess etc etc etc. It does wonders on your mental health.. I promise!

So that's it! How I get my kids to sleep early.. I don't believe in having kids 'who don't want to sleep early'. It's probably because their not helped to sleep early.. They won't just miraculously fall asleep early. I Wish!

Just have to keep trying until eventually... they tell you when they're sleepy! I'm off to drink hot choc & read. In peace and quiet. Kids Free.

'Till then, TC.

Milestones & Parenting the Danish Way

Naila is having a 2 week holiday so naturally I've got my hands full. It's a blessing that she now knows how to play independently but at the same time, she still needs my company after 1 hour playing alone.. Ibrahim naps 2-3 times a day. 

This week it seems both had a milestone jump.. Naila suddenly started looking at her Lego Duplo in a new light. If she was building 4-5 block structures before, now she's suddenly interested in building mega structures.. finishing all the lego blocks in one go! 

One day she just came to me and said "Mommy! I need to show you something!!" 

So I went to her room.. low and behold... a behemoth structure by her previous standards. I felt so proud of her for figuring it out by herself! 

We played lego soo many times together. I tried showing her many ways to assemble the lego but she couldn't care less. Then she went on to discover stuff by herself! 

Major mind shift on my part.. 

Then I found out about Danish parenting.. which means that you don't have to actively play with your kids all the time. You can just let them learn to play by themselves sometimes. 

One more thing that Naila started doing is to scribble zig zags. It might not sound like much. I was even getting worried that she doesn't seem to have any drawing skills or even remotely interested in writing.  

If forced to draw, she'd be doing circles over and over again. She'll say its Olaf or something. I'm expecting her to draw like a stick man or something by now... but nope. So I'm pretty happy that she suddenly enjoys writing zig zags in the notebook.. And they're pretty nice zig zags too. 

Ibrahim on the hand started playing imitation games last week. He'd nod and shake his head. He would move his fingers when we sing twinkle-twinkle little star. Honestly, he's at such a fun age.

Giggly and funny. He'll be 11 months soon. Ahhh time flies by! 

Third

Just a short update since forever!

I'm ganna come out and just say it! I'm preggers again! Lolz. Alhamdulillah. There are a few things that I planned on doing this year.. and to be honest getting pregnant again is not one of it. You can say it's a surprise.. I went into shock the first few weeks of finding out. I cried at the doctor's. 

Very dramatic stuff...

Hubs? I guess we went into shock in different ways. That's what I can say. 

Right now, we're.. getting there. Ibrahim is only 9 months old so this will be like the case of the Irish twins.. only different year. 

But again, alhamdulillah we have a lot of support from our families.. my parents and in laws, from daycare and from my wonderful maid. 

I worry about how would I balance my work & being a mom of three..... with 2 under the age of 2? There's breastfeeding involved. The time and effort needed is just wow. 

Ya Allah please give me strength to become the mother you want me to be. 

It's a process everyday.. some days are tough, some days are wonderful. I always remind myself that the babies will grow bigger so I better buck up. Actually since we found out about the baby many wonderful things happened.. we went to Krabi AGAIN. I LOVE my real estate work. Many many things that I can't express how grateful I am. 

My pregnancy is easy, again. No nausea or morning sickness.. I climbed Broga with Hubs & Naila when I was 3 months along.. 

I'm already 7 months along now and at most I get hungry alot. Alhamdulillah again. 

Ibrahim is 9 months old and thriving. Eating and playing lots. We're going to start sleep training him soon. 

I hope I can keep writing regularly. There's so many things unspoken that only makes sense when written down. 

Till then. 

Labor Story (Induce)

One of the things that I’m obsessed with, is gentle birth. So I waited as long as I could with this pregnancy. 41 weeks to be exact. Here I was, thinking… Is the baby coming out at all? Is everything ok in there? I even had that feeling of “maybe baby wants to come out but he can’t!”

All the while, I started walking at the park again, climbed up and down the stairs—basically making myself busy with natural inducers. On the 41 week checkup, I settled some work stuff before going for the appointment. I felt pretty defeated at that point.

So during the check up, again, doctor found my baby’s heartbeat slow. I was wheeled into the labor room and strapped to the ctg. Doc mentioned “c-sec” which gave me a mini stroke. But again, the baby was fine according to the ctg. Doc gave me a recommendation to induce that night for the safety of myself & my baby. Otherwise, I can choose to wait ONLY another 3 days at my own risk.

OK let me tell you, I was very tempted to wait another 3 days but was the anxiety & my baby’s safety worth it? I’ve waited 10 months and one week! And the doctor gave me a stern recommendation which I didn’t take lightly.

So I went home, called hubs, spoke to my parents then prayed. To tell you the truth, I cried a bit. Then I bucked up and called the hospital to set the appointment for inducement. At this point, you can pretty much throw your birth plan out the window.

THAT NIGHT

After putting Naila to sleep and kissing her goodnight, hubs sent me to the hospital around 10pm. After registration, we were brought to the room and I was hooked on ctg for I don’t know how long. They administered Prostin at around 12am. When I say ‘administer’ means they shoved the pill up my hooha ok. Not before the first of many vaginal examinations aka VE.

The whole experience up to this point is pretty bizarre to me. I was prodded, strapped to ctg and not allowed to move. Which is unlike my first labor. But then again, this is the standard procedure for being induced. Because Prostin or even pitocin drip could cause baby distress.

After an hour, I started feeling mild contractions. I tried to sleep because I knew that I was ganna need the energy later.. my 1st labor was very long, even up to the pushing stage. So I thought, maybe this one is the same?

I think I only slept for an hour because the contractions got stronger. I started walking around the room to ease the pain.. I also did squats because ya know, they can progress labor faster.

It’s funny.. time is infinity when you’re in labor. Because you’re just focusing on the contraction pain. I was walking and doing squats for about 2 hours come to think of it. The nurse came in at 6am to do ctg. Then did VE while I’m strapped to the CTG on top of handling strong contractions. Nurses, you’ve got no emotions!

Apparently I was 3cms already yay. The nurse told me to have my breakfast and freshen up. I’m entering the labor room at 8.30am for the pitocin drip and baby’s big debut! I wasn’t that hungry but forced myself to eat anyway. I took lots of dates. I woke hubs up *rolls eyes* He slept through the whole night because I was so quiet. *ROlls eyes*

Around 7am I was given an enema so you can quickly do the no. 2.

Shortly after that, the contractions pick up speed. The ctg was strapped again. The nurse could see that I was having stronger longer contractions and they got excited. When they’re excited, they do more VE. At that point I was like, go ahead!

This is where the trouble started. My baby’s heartbeat started dropping whenever I had a contraction. The nurses started scurrying around. Thing is, they never tell you anything, so I had to pull one aside and said “what’s going on?”

She said, “your baby’s heartbeat ‘tak cantik’.”

From their conversations, I knew my gynae has been informed and she’s on the way. They also mentioned c-section. I was praying and praying that my baby holds on & that my body cuts the crap and get to the pushing part already!

It all went very fast. I was 5cm when they wheeled me into the labor room. My contractions were painful and long. I was doing all this hypno visualizations of a flower blooming while taking deep breaths. But it’s really hard when the nurse keep telling me to sit still and not move.

“Belly up!”

“We need to see your baby’s heartbeat on the ctg!”

Woah the pain triples.

In the middle of that, the nurse hooked me to saline. It felt like too many things were happening at once.

Not long after that, I felt the urge to push. My water broke and I felt the gush.

The nurses started saying “serrum” to each other.

I alternate from panicking for my baby to taking deep breaths during contractions. It was 8.15am when I had the huge urge to push.

Remarkably, the nurses wanted me to breathe through the urge. “DON’T PUSH” was the instruction. Honestly I didn’t push but my freaking uterus was squeezing out the baby whether I wanted it or not.

It was very confusing at this point. The pushing urge were super intense.. every breathing technique forgotten.. the nurses didn’t want me to push but my baby’s heartbeat was dropping. They told me to lie sideways (oh NOW YOU WANT ME TO LIE SIDEWAYS), close my thighs and breathe air out with every urge to push. 

IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. THE WORST FEELING IN MY LIFE. It’s like fighting FATE.

My hands were numb and shivering. I was hyperventilating.

At one of those urges, I felt the top of baby’s head! Still I wasn’t allowed to push.

The clock showed 8.23am. The longest 10 minutes of my life. After what felt like an eternity of torture, my gynae appeared, spread my legs and said, “when you feel the urge, push as hard as you can”.

Well no need the invitation. The baby just slipped out the moment she finished that sentence.

I heard my baby’s strangled cry. It was 8.25am. Alhamdulillah the hard part is over!

The placenta birth was straightforward, I didn’t even feel it. I still felt strong cramps and I was like, “my stomach hurts!” So the nurse handed me the laughing gas.. I inhaled so much, I was drugged good. Funny--laughing gas doesn’t make the pain go away, it just muddles your brain that you don’t know what you’re feeling anymore.

AFTERTHOUGHT

So in the end, the prostin meds were all that it took to induce my labor.. I was overdue anyway. It’s very different from a natural birth, in terms of everything. But I knew what was gonna happen and there was a high chance that my baby would get distressed and the panicking and the super fast birth. But I’m glad things turn out the way it did.

I didn’t take any epidural, and there’s no episiotomy. After the birth, I had an overwhelming feeling of tiredness & bewilderment. Things felt out of control and I just listened to the nurses and submitted. Because that’s what induction is.

The main difference between having a natural birth & an induced one is—level of control. And the feeling afterwards. With the natural birth, I remember feeling an energetic high. I had been in labor over 7 hours but I felt fresh and like I just won the first place in a marathon.

Contrary to being induced.

It was overwhelming, it was fast and furious. BUT. It definitely did the job. My stance has always been natural birth unless there’s danger to me or the baby.

So.. verdict on which is more painful? Natural birth or induce?

Hm. I would say induce pain is harder to manage, just because you’re constricted to the bed and that the pain gets strong very fast. But it’s still very very doable. It helps to google success stories and to read about mothers who birth 4 kids without pain medications and their comment? “It’s no big deal & it’s not weird, it’s just natural.”

There’s MANY reasons why you shouldn’t take epidurals.. you’ll be better off physically and spiritually. Recovery is faster. Your baby doesn’t get drugged. Many many more reasons. 

In conclusion, alhamdulillah my labor was straightforward & my baby came out healthy. Although I didn’t plan on getting induced, it’s in the best interest of myself & my baby. I’m also proud that I didn’t take epidurals both times. It’s all in the state of mind.

Okay over & out! Mommy wants to take a shower! If you’re interested to read about my first natural ‘gentle’ birth, go here –> LABOR STORY

Say ASSALAMUALAIKUM to baby TAWFIQ IBRAHIM

Born on 26th July 2016, 8.25am

2.65 KG

Ramadhan & Third Trimester

I won’t be telling the truth if I said that Ramadhan this time around is not challenging. I’ve started to pray sitting down, and so far I’ve never missed a sahur. About eating habits, I’m used to eating often and I always always have a snack in my car and my handbag. And I usually bring a bottle of water with me everywhere I go, even in my bedroom at night. So fasting is a huge change for me.

For the first 2 days, I try to take it easy by just doing online work for De’ Bams. Physical activities make me soo tired nowadays. Even if I attempt to run an errand for a few hours outside, I’ll come back home as flat as a pancake.

Yesterday, I took an Arab family to view our shortstay apartment around 3pm. They’re looking to rent for a whole month. Normally, I don’t do viewings, unless they wanna stay 2 weeks or more. That morning, I did some errands for a few hours and got home around 12pm. Basically, I was already as flat as a pancake but I had to leave again at 2pm.

So when I arrived at the short stay some 15km away, I was expecting them to arrive on time but of course, keep in mind Murphy’s Law… when something bad can happen, it will happen… their Uber driver cancelled their request, so they had to wait for another taxi to get to my place. They arrived around 3.45pm… I had to tell myself over and over ‘PATIENCE’! At that time, my head was spinning and I was really feeling dehydrated. Travelling outside at 2 in the afternoon is no joke.. Temperature was a high 37C and you could feel the heat above your head.

The heat.. the fasting and carrying a pineapple sized human in your tummy is a bit too much for me to handle, I’ll admit. Thankfully, the viewing went smoothly when they arrived. And they confirmed the stay with us. Alhamdulillah. I love long term stays for one reason: I don’t have to clean up the apartment as often.

Hubs handles the reservations, so I’ve requested him to only accept long term stays in the next few months. I definitely want my maternity leave! That’s the downside of being self-employed. There’s no such thing as an extended leave. Taking a leave is a big effort and I won’t be staying at home for 43 days just taking care of the newborn. I’ll also have to do online work, paperwork, scheduling, delegating tasks to other people.. To top it off, there’s Naila.

Yeah.

My Arab guest who has 5 kids (aged 17 to 16 months! GASP!) wished me good luck with the new baby. She asked me whether I’m planning to have another one? Bwahahahhaha… My answer was I’m taking a looong break from baby making after this one!

On another note, I would like to wish Ramadhan Mubarak to all Muslims out there. May your Ramadhan be filled with mercy & forgiveness.

Positive Changes From Playschool

Hi! My mom and dad weren’t very keen on the idea of me sending Naila to playschool from the very beginning. They said it’s too early for her. Naila will be 3 in October.

They could be right but I have a few reasons for sending her:

1. So she doesn’t get bored while I do work

2. It’s only 3 hours

3. It’s only playschool where she PLAYS the whole time she’s there

4. She and I need a distraction when the new baby swings by

My main reason has always been No.4 because I don’t know how am I going to handle a newborn and a clingy toddler at the same time.

Like any other moms out there, I combed the area and paid a visit to 4-5 centres before finally settling on one. I think it’s a mom thing because hubs really don’t understand ‘why can’t I make up my mind’. Of course I’ve got criterias! DUHHHH.

English, Islamic and Play-based. Those are my criteria and they extend to little details like what is the daily schedule like, how many kids in the class, who’s the teacher… yada yada. To cut the story short, I found the right place at the end of April.

The trial was only two days, then I enrolled her full time in May. Now it’s been 3 weeks. She doesn’t say a word about school, even when I ask her. Teachers said she’s doing well. She cooperates and listens to instructions, plays along well with other kids. So I decided not to push her. She’ll tell me something when she’s ready.

Then came last week. We were upstairs, my mom, me and Naila. Mom said it’s time for dinner. Naila actually cleans up her stuff. We didn’t even have to ask! We were standing there looking at her quietly flabbergasted. She cleaned up the whole area!

During the same weekend, we visited my mil’s. Naila’s 1 year old cousin Addeen was there. To our surprise, there wasn’t any shouts or cries heard the whole day. We actually caught them sitting on the carpet together having a picnic. Naila gave a cup to Addeen and they spent 5 minutes ‘drinking’ together!

Just to get things straight, Naila is NOT a sharer and she doesn’t clean up her toys, no matter how much we encourage her. So she must’ve gotten these habits from her playschool. Major lovee.

It’s still early days but looks like she’s picked up some good habits already. It’s the only thing I ever wish for!

Meeting the one, Husbands & Babies

It’s getting to that stage where you wake up in the middle of the night and it’s hard to go back to sleep. Owh I remember this phase very well. The baby is squirming and kicking.

I was kinda lamenting my freedom in the first few months of having a new baby. You know, the multiple diaper change, feeding, burping especially in the middle of the night. Then hubs said ‘you wanted this baby’. That literally just shut me up. It’s true. It’s my mantra ever since we got married. 2 before 30. Paranoid I’ll be too tired by the time I’m 30… hahaha

I don’t know why I plan these things. I guess I felt like I had to fit it in with my other stuff like building a business empire (doesn’t go the way I planned it) and traveling the world (partly satisfied with it). Some people stumble into success seemingly overnight and that’s their blessing.

Everybody has their challenges and we can’t always see it. Darn social media for making everything look shiny and all glitters.

I’m ganna be honest here, I never liked babies. I mean you know, last time before I had one. Someone can hand over a baby to me and I’m gana be like, please somebody hellpp meee. I can’t see how people thought they were cute. I mean, CATS are cute. Babies… can’t see it. For sure NObody thought I would be a mom.

At least that’s the vibe I got. People also probably think that I’d be a shi**y housewife because I didn’t know how to cook and that I would marry late. In school I thought that I would marry late because other people had boyfriends and I don’t and I can’t talk to boys because I get nervous.

Actually that changed when I met hubs. The 1st time I saw him, he was more nervous than I am. I KNEW he was the ONE. For a while :) Then there’s many years of drama I don’t know how we even survived. Seven years. That’s how long we knew each other before getting married. Then the ONE wasn’t the one. But then what is he? Those were seriously confusing times.

When we finally got married, I thought to myself ‘who knew?’ And I’m glad, he knows me so well. He didn’t marry me for my cooking or housewifing skills that’s for sure. Lol. I’m glad I married that bespectacled, unemployed, alternative music nerd because he turned out to be a lasiked and working engineer 5 years later. Plus he tolerates my Taylor Swift binge and I caught him mumbling Wildest Dreams a few times. Love you hubs <3

And eventhough I used to be impartial towards babies, I think I did a freaking good job with Naila.

Pats on the back.

Okay now I can go back to sleep. Till next time.

Bump Update 31 Weeks

Hi Yall!
I honestly don’t know where did all the weeks go?!? Saying this pregnancy is going by so fast is an understatement. When I calculated 32 weeks to be 8 months, suddenly it hit me. I’m having a new baby in 2 months!

Not sure if I’m ready!

This week I could’ve taken better care of what I eat. I should’ve drank more milk, eaten more healthy food. It’s more like a binge of everything I can think of. This one time, I was super hungry and chips is the only thing available, I finished the whole bag. I’ve been really baddd.

I almost forgot that I’m preggers sometimes because of the move & early this month, my cat Chanel fell off the 5th floor of our apartment. It was heartbreaking and intensive work to bring her from one hospital to another. Naila started school, but she also had a high fever.

I was so occupied with taking care of a sick household that I couldn’t think of anything else.

I haven’t bought a thing for baby No. 2. Nothing. Maybe next month when things are back to normal.

Naila is EXTRA clingy. Wants me around all the time. But Hubs has been spending more time with her, taking her along when doing chores and stuff. At least she’s big enough now to put on her own shoes, eat, and potty.

Frankly saying, I don’t feel pregnant except for the hard kicks when I’m about to fall asleep at night. That, and the fact that if I tried sleeping on my back, it feels like I was sleeping with a coconut sized rock on my stomach.

All in all, I think my pregnancy is fairly easy. The baby doesn’t give much fuss. Even when I’m hungry he/she doesn’t raise a kicking match like Naila last time. THANK YOU I pray that you’re an easy, calm baby once you’re born.

Doctor Norshida said you’ll weigh more than 1kg around now. So big already. I hope you don’t weigh more than your sister.. 3.1kg is big enough I think.

‘Till next week!

How to Entertain Toddler on a Long Distance Drive or Long Flight

A short break from Krabi posts to talk about something really important. So important that if you weren't prepared, the whole road trip will be a disaster. It's how to entertain the little monstah during a long distance drive. 

1. TIMING

Timing is everything! The best timing is when the toddler is asleep! Me & hubs always choose to wake up really early in the morning to travel long distance. For Krabi we started the journey at 4am. For trips to Kuala Terengganu, for example, we woke up at 3am. You can also travel through the night, but we aren't really night owls.. so we prefer to catch some snooze before starting on a long journey. 

2. A CAR SEAT TRAY

Also known as a snack & play tray. You can get it from Lelong.my for a cheap knockoff or look for the real thing at baby specialty stores. I got mine for RM20 off Lelong. The table is sturdy but not hard. This is important in case of an accident, the tray won't hurt the toddler. You can use the tray for activities, and for food. Very handy. 

3. STICKER BOOKS

I scoured the internet for ways to entertain a toddler in the car or flight. For kids above 5 years old, loom bands are a favorite. For 2-3 year olds, It's sticker books. I went to a few shops looking for sticker books, and I found one in Aeon Big for RM10. Sticker books kept Naila occupied for 30 minutes at a time. 

Mickey mouse sticker books does the trick! 

4. TABLET WITH SOME NEW MOVIES & OLD FAVORITES

This works the longest. Naila has very limited screen time at home, so she's usually very excited for more. No complains when we let her finish a movie in the car. That's 1.5 hours off our hands. We wanted to bring headphones for her but forgot at the very last minute! 

5. SNACKS

When traveling, we allow things we don't usually allow, like eating chips and lots of biscuits. And kerepek. Or kerepet as Naila calls it. Plenty of milk cartons. Food saves the day when we were stuck at the Thai border for 3 hours. 

Also make sure to stop by for toilet breaks and freshening up every 2-3 hours. Makes all the difference in the world. Any other tips for long distance travel? 

Potty Training for First Time Mommies

My Potty Trained Girl

Gahhh. The horror. First it was the sleep training. Now the dreaded potty training. I wasn't sure when to actually start. Some people say when the baby is 18 months, you can already start. At 18 months, Naila doesn't even let out a squeak if she poo. Not a hint, except the smell that comes afterward. So I know she wasn't ready back then.

She's now 2 years old and 5 months. I can understand her clearly when she speaks so I thought, what the heck.. it's now or never!

FIRST DAY
We rolled up all the carpets, playmats, yoga mats, sejadah mats and hid it in the corner. I prepped Naila that she's not wearing diapers anymore a dozen times the day before. I think she gets it when she nods ok.

That morning after shower, I put on her shirt and airy pants only minus the undies. I started timing my phone every 15 minutes to prompt taking her to the toilet. She did her pee for the first time! YAYY! Success!

The 15 minutes toilet break went on until afternoon. Then I got complacent. I stopped asking every 15 minutes. Naila went on to pee on the floor about 3 times that day.

No poo on first day. I went all... hahaha let's see how long can you hold it in!

SECOND DAY
Peeing session a success, although she still refuses to say, "I wanna pee." Instead she makes faces. So we had to be in tune with her face. If we miss it, then another round of moping. By second day, we know to put on her diapers when she naps. Because she'll pee when she wakes up. She manages to poo in the diaper. Sneaky.

THIRD DAY
Caught her squatting down and making faces. Sprinted to the toilet! First poo in the toilet! Yayy. See?? We parents aren't that hard to please.

When she's absorbed in playing something, she forgets all about the training and pees on the floor. We still had to ask if she wants to pee or not.

FOURTH and beyond. 
I read somewhere that you can potty train in 3 days. Maybe if it was really intensive, no diapers 100%. But I always went out with Naila during our potty training week and she wears diapers outside. So that might've confused her a little. Plus she also wears them at night and during naps.

I can safely say she's reliably potty trained at the end of two weeks this way. The carpets go back on the floor after 2 weeks. It's pretty tiring when she 'forgets' to tell us. But in all fairness she manages to let us know in advance most of the time.

She gets especially excited when it comes to flushing her No 2.
The other day after doing a no. 2, she cried, "I made a banana!" OKayyy. Lols Ew.

Another time she said, "Naila poo. Gross. Don't touch mommy. Let's flush." That's a bit better.

WHAT YOU NEED
1. A mini potty seat to go on the regular toilet bowl (we don't use those standalone potty, I can't stomach cleaning up the plastic afterward)

We used something like this. 

2. A ready toddler
3. A timer/ handphone to remind yourself to take the little one to the toilet
4. Alertness to her facial expressions
5. A lot of patience
6. Courage & a little bit of gusto

Go for it! You know, I can already feel the diaper savings. I used to buy those diapers in a bulk of 4, now reduced to one a month! That's more than RM100 savings. Awesome.

Mommy Tired of Tantrums

When Naila turned two, not surprisingly she started the whole rolling on the floor tantrum episode. Some things trigger it faster. Like passing by the indoor playground. Or when mommy wants to do work.

In one episode, she actually jumped out of her stroller, rolled on the floor and threw her shoes. Okay do you know how tiring that is? It’s so tiring you wanna scream your head off. But you don’t. Instead you just take a deep sigh and join the other spectators watching your daughter do an impressive long throw.

Then when you finally summoned the energy, you walk up to her. Carry the little screaming banshee into the stroller and wrestle for 5 minutes to get her buckled up.

So since then, I choose my battles. Places I’m going to CANNOT have an indoor playground or toy store. Yeah sure, we take her there sometimes but I have to spend at least 1 hour in there. It’s funny because you look like you’re having fun, but if that’s your 10^th trip, it’s pretty hard be excited about your daughter jumping into the ball pit.

I try hard to muster a half-hearted yay! I think I’m a pretty committed mom. I mean, I don’t spend 90% looking at my phone, only checking to see if my daughter is still around at the inflatable slide. Well, some parents do that…

But no judging, right?

Sorry Naila.. mommy will try to be the best mom... forgive me for the half hearted yays and fake smiles. But if that's what it takes so be it! 

No 2

If you had followed me on Instagram, then you'll know that I'm currently carrying a second baby. It'll be 18 weeks soon. Time flies by so quickly. I'll be as big as a watermelon by the time it's Raya. Blessings as big as a baby is hard to ignore, it makes you feel humbled that you've been chosen to bring up another human being.

The other day, I said to my mom, "maa it's ganna get crayzay in the house!! I don't know how I'm ganna manage it." My mom just said, "don't say that. You've got help, you'll learn to manage. Although yes, it'll be tough sometimes."

Okay. It'll be tough sometimes. I survived bringing up Naila until now, I'll manage a second one! I have doubts about how I'm ganna BF my next one. During Naila's time she was direct BF 99.9% of the time, it meant a lot of sacrifices on time and effort. I didn't leave the house at night until Naila was 9 months old!

Maybe I'll settle with being a pumping BF mommy. Maybe that's more manageable. I do hope and pray that I'll be able to BF the next one for the next 2 years. It's a 2 year commitment man! The underwears, the clothing, the gadgets, the heavy top if you know what I mean. Nothing says commitment like breastfeeding does.

That aside, we're looking forward and already planning the future of this 2nd one. Where is he/she going to school, what he/she will be when they grow up. How we'll go on African Safari trips together to see lions when they're teenagers. How we'll go to Disneyland on their 7th birthday.

Whatever it is, I'm truly grateful for my life and this little bub.