Happy Happy Weekend

MS. NICE GUY - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have." Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat. Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday.

OLD YELLER - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans, Pays attention to you.

SICKLY - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite" Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy.
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious

THE BOSSER - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look. " Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes, Mom.
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

MS. VAGUELY DISSATISFIED - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair color?"
Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey.
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

WILD WOMAN OUT OF CONTROL - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun. "
Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

HUFFY - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at"
Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends

WOMAN FROM MARS - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship"
Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

MS. DREAMGIRL - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now"
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you

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Seriously, we’re all abit of everything, but for entertainment’s sake I’m ms Dreamgirl. Cue smiling smug. I know. Whatever.

About a few hours ago I went into the kitchen and a giant grey rat with a very long tail jumped down the kitchen counter, and chased me ferociously. It was scary man.. I was running for my life while shouting bloody murder—at 12 am. All I wanted was to drink a glass of water..

I’ve got NO idea how it got in. There’re no holes in the wall as far as I know. The hollow space under the kitchen door is about 0.25 inches or something. Another possibility is that it had climbed out the toilet drain. So, so what if it has friends?

I am so not happy. Goodnight.