Meeting the one, Husbands & Babies

It’s getting to that stage where you wake up in the middle of the night and it’s hard to go back to sleep. Owh I remember this phase very well. The baby is squirming and kicking.

I was kinda lamenting my freedom in the first few months of having a new baby. You know, the multiple diaper change, feeding, burping especially in the middle of the night. Then hubs said ‘you wanted this baby’. That literally just shut me up. It’s true. It’s my mantra ever since we got married. 2 before 30. Paranoid I’ll be too tired by the time I’m 30… hahaha

I don’t know why I plan these things. I guess I felt like I had to fit it in with my other stuff like building a business empire (doesn’t go the way I planned it) and traveling the world (partly satisfied with it). Some people stumble into success seemingly overnight and that’s their blessing.

Everybody has their challenges and we can’t always see it. Darn social media for making everything look shiny and all glitters.

I’m ganna be honest here, I never liked babies. I mean you know, last time before I had one. Someone can hand over a baby to me and I’m gana be like, please somebody hellpp meee. I can’t see how people thought they were cute. I mean, CATS are cute. Babies… can’t see it. For sure NObody thought I would be a mom.

At least that’s the vibe I got. People also probably think that I’d be a shi**y housewife because I didn’t know how to cook and that I would marry late. In school I thought that I would marry late because other people had boyfriends and I don’t and I can’t talk to boys because I get nervous.

Actually that changed when I met hubs. The 1st time I saw him, he was more nervous than I am. I KNEW he was the ONE. For a while :) Then there’s many years of drama I don’t know how we even survived. Seven years. That’s how long we knew each other before getting married. Then the ONE wasn’t the one. But then what is he? Those were seriously confusing times.

When we finally got married, I thought to myself ‘who knew?’ And I’m glad, he knows me so well. He didn’t marry me for my cooking or housewifing skills that’s for sure. Lol. I’m glad I married that bespectacled, unemployed, alternative music nerd because he turned out to be a lasiked and working engineer 5 years later. Plus he tolerates my Taylor Swift binge and I caught him mumbling Wildest Dreams a few times. Love you hubs <3

And eventhough I used to be impartial towards babies, I think I did a freaking good job with Naila.

Pats on the back.

Okay now I can go back to sleep. Till next time.

Relationship Dynamics

The other day I opened my sleeping laptop and I saw Florence and machines on the screen.

Hubs.

We’ve got such different tastes in music. I’m more of a top 40, pop music person. He’s more.. I don’t know.. angst, sad, weird electro music kinda person. Because we have such different tastes in music, we have a rule. Whoever drives gets to have his music on the radio. Although in the end we end up listening to ‘If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands’.

He loves savory flavorful food. I love mild, soupy things. He hates them.

On parenting, he takes my queue because I read way more than him. Hah.

We’re married for almost 4 years now. But every time we get into the argument of it’s my way(!!!), I always wondered how did I end up marrying a person so different than me!

You think you know someone after 10 years. Nope. Still get flabbergasted.

I mean you know, it’s fun that we’re different. Like sometimes I get to eat cookies and cream ice-cream, sometimes it’s strawberry. If it we’re up to me, it will be chocolate all the time.

When we just got married, moving in with each other was interesting. I went,”we’re using Dove body shower and shampoo right?”

He went, “I like tough soaps like Dettol.”

So I went, “Dettol strips off moisture. No good. I can’t use that.”

“We’ll just keep our soaps then.”

We ended up having 2 sets of body shower, shampoo, toothpastes and other toiletries. We can’t even agree on the same toothbrush brand. Imagine the toiletries bag when we travel. That’s not counting Naila and her bag of organic things.

I must admit there was a lot of power struggles in the early days. I was used to having my way or the highway. Nowadays, it’s okay, fine your turn now, but my turn later.

Or we’ll have two of everything! Problem solved.

April Recap In Pictures

 

Life is crazy. My hands are full juggling everything. I think I grew another hand just to accommodate! Alhamdulillah my life is full, blessed. Sometimes I fear I let everything slip by. One month is seriously so so short.

But.. we managed to sneak in a short weekend getaway to Cameron Highlands! We’ve been here three times in two years so that’s saying something. When we arrived it was cool and raining. Major love. It’s our first getaway as a family and Naila was sooo easy to travel with.

Also, we finally got help! Bhea is a LIFESAVER. I was getting really overwhelmed with my work, Naila, housework; and so started advertising for an extra pair of hands literally. She’s Naila’s new weekday nanny and my part-time housekeeper!

Yeap we love her!

Mom said Naila has too little toys so I went and get her Joey the jiggling elephant!! And I got her a bumbo seat with tray just in time to start EATING.

Favorite thing to do in April. She started blowing bubbles in March and never stopped since!

We have been working on our apartment since December, and finally we put it up for short rental this month!!

That’s it for now folks! I’ll check in soon. Definitely in May.

Take care xoxo.

My Labor Story Part 2

Disclaimer: Perhaps this is a super long, TMI sharing post intended mostly for those interested in birthing stories, so please beware.

If you missed part 1, click here.

So even though I requested for minimal CTG or you call it fetal monitoring, my doctor insisted on CTG for half an hour. After 30 minutes, they unstrapped me, and allowed me to walk around. I was also allowed to eat yaay and when I requested the bright lights to be dimmed, they did. Yaay. I didn’t get a drip so I could walk around the room, triple yaay. (The reason I insisted on walking is because gravity helps baby come down the birth canal okay ^_^)

I had my headphones on, listening to surah Maryam & surah Yaseen, and had a water bottle in my hands. I started pacing the labor room.  You could’ve sworn I looked like I was preparing for a race. The contractions by then came every 5 minutes, intense and long. This went on for an hour.

The head midwife came in to check on me, and I was 8 cm dilated. My mom was busy communicating with dad/ the in laws and I updated hubs every few minutes. The doctor came and asked to break my waters to make things go faster. I blankly said no. Well actually, at that point I was saying no to everything. Do you wanna eat? No! Do you wanna lie down? No!

I couldn’t stop walking! Doctor said, ‘let me know when your water breaks’. 5 minutes later my water broke. Doctor told me to lay on the bed starting then. The contractions got a lot stronger and I started to feel like pushing hard.

The midwife came to check on me and she told me I was fully dilated! She also told me to push whenever I felt like it. So I learnt about breathing down baby but it was impossible because the urge to push was so great. My contractions was still steady but after each peak, the contraction subsides. So up to now the birth was exactly the way I wanted it.

I felt in control before, but once the pushing sensation came, I kind of panicked. The midwife wanted me to push, and yes, I pushed. The doctor said baby was still up high so I need to push harder!! Starting then I completely trusted the midwife and my doctor. Doctor said something about my contractions are not strong enough to push baby out, so I had to work hard.

With each contraction, I pushed. And pushed. Mom was beside me reciting zikr. Then the midwife said baby was posterior! The ideal position for baby to come out is anterior, which is a position that makes labor shorter and mom progress faster. So I had a posterior baby and midwife was doing serious compresses on my stomach in an effort to turn baby around. In my head I was like, oh no poor baby must be so pissed to have someone twisting her from outside!

Ok ideally I would love to be standing when my water broke. So now I understand the feeling of wanting different positions to birth because lying down is just so messy! Something funny was also happening because once I was belly up, I couldn’t feel my contractions eventhough they were happening! Major disaster when you’re actually in the pushing phase. I’m shocked when my doctor told me that a contraction is coming, because they felt it on my stomach but I, on the other hand, didn’t! The doctor told me that because I opt for no episiotomy= no cuts down there, I had to push hard because she can’t help me!

I’ve been pushing for two hours by then. Two blood* hours. Ok literally. Then doctor dropped the bomb when she spoke to the midwife. “Her contractions aren’t strong enough yet.. She should be really ready when baby descends and her head showing.. She’s not ready yet actually.” What? what?? But but you told me to push!!! And I pushed for 2 hours!!!

Doctor then asked me if I wanted help or to let nature run its course? If you want all natural, then you have to bear with contractions and it’ll take a while. What? what? By then I’ve lost practically two buckets of sweat and blood, I don’t know.. Even then, I said I’ll wait. But here’s the thing. It’s like giving your all for a warm-up session, and naturally you’ve lost all energy for the real game.

That’s what I was at that moment. My mom basically has had enough of my stubbornness. She asked doctor about my options. Doctor told us that we could proceed with pitocin drip to strengthen my contraction and assured us that baby will be out in no time. Mom was soo sold. I was less happy. Midwife just couldn’t wait to go back home to sleep. Doctor remain impartial and waited for me to make my decision.

Mom looked at me with pleading eyes. Midwife was pushing me for the drip. I was sweating and my hands were cramping from pulling that lever, on top of the painful contractions. I felt soo cornered and desperate. So in the last minute I said, oklah let’s do it! I just want it to be over. At the time I was sure baby is never coming out and I’ll be pregnant forever. As if.

Midwife inserted drip needle (I envisioned leaving the hospital needle-free), administered pitocin in increasing amounts (I envisioned drug-free). I felt my uterus started contracting like malibu waves. I pushed with the waves and baby was out on the third push.

I heard a strangled cry, some suction and came face to face with baby, all covered in sticky vernix. I can’t help thinking, ‘how weird, she’s so tiny and so angry… must be all the pitocin and massaging pissing her off.. did she really came out of me?’ I held her to my chest feeling relieved and utter disbelief. I had a slight tear down below because I rejected episiotomy but doctor said it wasn’t much. I wouldn’t bluff, I’m so happy about that part.

However, I envisioned baby to come out calm and alert, a tell tale of no-drugs baby in theory.. but she was inconsolable. So they let me have some skin-to-skin, then they whisked baby off for normal medical procedures. After an hour I get to hold her again <3

Salam baby Naila Zahra, the labor was 15 hours long but you held your ground. I felt your strong kicks from the very beginning till your birth. If I had any doubt that you’re okay in there, I would be the one to rush the doctor for emergency c-section. However I didn’t have to worry because your heartbeat was strong throughout the whole labor.

I wanted to give you time, I didn’t want to force you out. I didn’t want to drug you. I know that any drugs entering my bloodstream will enter yours. Having pitocin causes constricted blood flow to you and would’ve caused you distress. I wanted to give you a gentle beginning. I hope the pitocin in the final minute didn’t touch you. We just needed time.

You were pissed when you came out, must be the pitocin and the midwife pressing aggressively on your body (!) Yes it made me pissed off too.

Looking at your past month, I’m glad I made all the decisions that I made because people keep saying you’re a happy baby.. seldom cry and progress well. You latched on for nursing in the first hour, you didn’t have any jaundice and you steadily gained weight. I made all the decisions during my pregnancy and labor hoping for a good outcome. I read up so much about the natural birth process before giving birth to you. Thank you to daddy also for making me see the light. He made me realize that I’m capable of giving birth naturally and that I should just trust nature. After all, if my body could support your growth until full term, then my body can support the labor too. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah

My Labor Story Part 1

 

Salam guys,

I just wanted to share my partial gentle and natural birth. I never expected to go this way, I was PRO-epidural all the way until I stumbled across ‘gentle birthing’ during my 36th week of pregnancy. I never went to any prenatal class or any birthing class but I did plenty of research before deciding to submit my birth plan to the doctor. I changed doctors so many times, but only because I found myself in certain situations, price vs treatment factor (we’re fully paying patients because our insurance does not cover maternity at all), and also taking into account doctor’s willingness to follow my plan.

My birth plan:

I would like to point out that some things in the list are actually against some doctor’s or even hospital policy, so you can imagine how I had to look for the right doctor. Lucky me, I found my perfect doctor after switching 3 times and the hospital is just 5 minutes drive away from my parent’s :)

So here’s my story :)

I went over my due date, despite people’s positive assurance that I’ll go into labor early because this is ‘my first child’. The dates doesn’t really matter to me, if not for the fact that my husband has to leave for his offshore assignment on the 16th October. My due date was the 19th. So you can imagine how sad I was when my husband left… My doctor said she’ll allow my pregnancy to go until 41 weeks MAX, after that we’ll have to schedule for inducement. At that point, I thought, well… no husband, no natural birth. I felt hopeless and depressed.

I wallowed for a while, then get on with my life, still drove, did my work.

So after my husband left, I felt more strongly about letting my labor start spontaneously. My husband has gone anyway, why should I cave to doctor’s ‘inducement threats’. (OK my doctor is actually the bomb, she supports natural labor, found her name on a natural birth forum)  I learned so much about benefits of a spontaneous labor and the scary bits about inducement. I wanted to cry at the thought of a c-section. I did everything I knew about ‘natural inducers’. Pineapples, long walks, squats, eating dates and others… you name it. My doctor reminded me to do zikr a lot and talk to the baby.

Honestly I can’t tell you what works, because I did everything at the same time. Maybe that’s key, that’s what started the labor. Two days before my labor, I went to the park with my brother at 8 am and walked for about an hour. Someone should’ve pointed out that there’s a HUGE difference between walking in the mall and walking in the park. I could walk 4 hours in the mall but not feel tired. Walking in the park is a different story. You don’t stop to eat, or rest, or sit.

Anyway after the walk, I felt some pain in the abdomen. Well turns out it was nothing. Or maybe it was something…

Because two days later, I woke up in the middle of night feeling light cramps, the annoying type you’d get during a period. I thought.. no way.. this couldn’t be it, it’s just practice contractions. I sat up, and felt something gush. I checked and based on a thousand hours of looking up ‘labor signs’ on the internet, I was pretty sure that I was in early labor. At that point, my waters were leaking and I had a show.

I was like, YESSSSSSSS let’s get the show started!!

I started timing my annoying light cramps. I couldn’t believe it was rhythmic! Coming every 20 minutes. I stayed up feeling ecstatic until 4 am, but because it wasn’t strong I went back to sleep.

I woke up for Subuh, excitedly texting my hubby it’s ganna be today! Then I waited until 8.30am to tell mom. Mom was excited but we decided to wait until my contractions got stronger. At 9.00am my contractions did get stronger, to the extent that I couldn’t speak during one. I did a lot of research beforehand about surge breathing and took deep long breaths during a contraction. That technique helped a lot in managing the pain. My mom notified my MIL, and when she appeared at my front door at 11am, the contractions tapered off.

For real peoples.

So we ate and talked like any normal day, not in early labor at all. Around 12.30pm, the contractions came back with a vengeance. I excused myself from the dining table and sat near the tv. I told both moms that the contractions are strong and 14 minutes apart. My doctor and I agreed that I would labor at home until the contractions are 10 minutes apart. I remember watching 6 days and 7 nights while feeling the contractions come and go. At the same time I walked back and forth in front of the tv. Walking actually helped tone down the pain intensity.

Also worth mentioning is that around 3pm, I started feeling huge pressure in my back. Well well turns out I was experiencing the dreaded back labor. There’s nothing much I could do about it, but I remember that leaning forward and pressing into my back provided some relief.

Around 4pm-ish, I did my Asar prayers. Shortly after that, the contractions picked up in pace and strength. I was still doing the breathing techniques, but find it harder to manage. It was then that I started feeling a little bit panicked and out of control. I had my hospital bag ready and waited for my mom downstairs. By then my contractions suddenly jumped to 4 minutes apart, lasting about 40 seconds each.

 

Mom drove me to the hospital around 5-ish. I was really concentrating on my breathing because that is KEY in managing the pain and how I lasted that long. I checked in via emergency and was wheeled straight to the labor room. 

All the while I was like, I can’t believe this is happening!! I brought my headset, my phone, phone charger, a bottle full of water, a quarter bottle of zam zam water (spilled in the car nooooooooo) and of course my hospital bag. Felt like I was prepping for battle. Because my husband wasn’t around, they allowed my mom to be with me during labor.

The doctor came in, had me assessed. I was 7cm dilated!! Can’t believe I was so close!!

I texted my husband the update, feeling ecstatic. So far, the labor has been natural all the way and I thought well, it isn’t so bad. It’s been 9 hours of steady contractions but I‘ve eaten, I’ve prayed, and I could still walk around. I even slotted in a movie session in the afternoon and had a catching up sesh with MIL! Lol. I also felt baby actively kicking since morning. I can definitely do this. Little did I know that the drama was just about to begin.

Baby is waking up! I’ll continue in part 2!

PART 2 Here!

Love!

9th Month Drama Rama

Hi, I’m 38 weeks pregnant and counting. I’m not laboring yet. If you’re carrying a 2-3kg rice sack everywhere you go, plus another 10kg of weights you’ll know what it means to wait for labor. It’s like waiting to discharge the rice sack. Or something like that. Tomorrow I have a meeting at 10AM at a construction site. Next week on Monday I have another scheduled meeting. Yup, still working. Still driving.

Thing is, people always remind me to listen to my body in this last few months. I do, trust me. Week 36 was HARD. I felt hungry and fatigued all day long. I thought for sure that I was going into labor soon. Nope wrong.

Week 37 went to emergency because I had food poisoning and fever. The fever went down in 12 hours. All I did was to drink lots. The doctor told me that I could actually take a panadol or two which I didn’t the night before because let’s face it, you wouldn’t risk any drugs when you’re pregnant and THIS close to laboring. Also I didn’t feel baby move as much, so that’s the real reason why I submitted myself to emergency wing. Turns out baby was just chillin’. Mommy was tired so baby was tired and decided to sleep longer or something.

Doctor wanted to admit me but I politely turned her down. Yeah admit me, then what? Forced birth with drugs? No way hosay. I want baby out but NATURALLY is the keyword. Plus hospitals creep me out. Next time I’m joining the home birth movement with hypno and water birth. Oh hubs please let me.

As week 38 loomed, I thought if I moped around, I’ll NEVER get labor started. So I made it a point to walk walk walk walk. So now instead of feeling like going into labor, I feel energized. Able to take on the world. I even sleep good. Less tossing and turning. More sno-ring. I’m like, WHAT? Why you so strong again body?? I thought the food poisoning got you good. I thought you, body, will be pressured into contractions. Ummmm let’s see. No. No false contractions, nothing. Nada. 

Le sigh.

Ya Allah, whatever plans you have for me, I know in my heart that it’s the best. Husband is going away soon and if he can’t make it to his first child’s birth I’m ganna try to make peace with that. If husband is going to miss the first month of his child’s life also I’m ganna have to make peace with that also.

Oh yeah. So today I’m on house arrest imposed by my mom. Because she saw my uber elephant feet. Or balloon feet. Water retention fat feet. Whatever you call it. Fine. Can’t wear my sandals no longer anyway. Where are those cartoonish crocs when you need ‘em.

My toenails are getting longer and I can’t reach!! Where’s hubs when you really need him!?

What? We’re Mar-ried!! Okay? Married!!

Happy 6 months pregnant to me! I know I know I’ve been neglecting the blog for a long time. There’s also been a severe lack of photos as of late. I’m more content of people taking my photos than me taking my own. And when I said ‘people’, most of the time I’m referring to my husband. And hubby does not take photos ever. Pronto.

If one day we look back, he’ll be like, ‘hmm I wonder why we didn’t have more photos at that time.’ I’ll be like, ‘Well I was busy being preggers, what’s your excuse?’.

No I’m serious.

For all the enthusiastic purchase of an SLR camera, lenses, a compact camera, a polaroid camera; we’re pretty pathetic at actually using them. In fact year 2013 is pretty much summed up in my iphone camera album. Which the last time I counted was about 700 pieces. Then 600 of them was from year 2012. And most of the remaining are photos of my cat and other people’s babies. Oh--and the sky. Like I said, pathetic.

On a different note, lately I’ve been annoyed at people thinking that I’m younger than my age. Like, student young. Sometimes I even pass as a form 5-er. Annoooyed. Another implication of that is people thinking me and hubs aren’t a married couple, instead merely a couple.

Like the other day when hubs got admitted into the hospital for food poisoning. He stayed for 4 days. Half of that time, the doctor and nurses were rude to me. Rude as in, when coming for hourly checkups, the doctor doesn’t even look at me while explaining. While answering my question. And the nurses come in with surly expressions only annoying oranges are capable of giving.

So it turns out that they thought we weren’t married. They thought we were students. And imagine what they were thinking when they saw me on hub’s bed beside him. We were watching TV okay. We nerds were watching National Geographic okay. Anyway the nurses couldn’t have looked more sour. Lemons couldn’t be that sour.

Sheesh they could’ve looked closer at the STATUS on the form hubs signed before being admitted. They could’ve but they didn’t. How’d they find out? Because I casually mentioned ‘my husband’ to the doctor and you wouldn’t believe it, she actually responded with ‘husband? OWHH HUSBAND KERR’. So then I supposed she finally checked his patient file thoroughly because the next time she came, she was all smiley and chatty. Same goes with the nurses.

You can say that I’m glad that I’m starting to look pregnant because hopefully that would stop people from thinking we’re merely college couples. Though the other day, a pakcik actually asked whether I’ve got a boyfriend or not. Seriously dude? Owh I felt like flashing the guy with my bump and say pokcik I’m closer to 30 than 20, I’ve been married for 1 half years, and I’m 5 months preggers! Though that would be extremely unlady-like and would probably get me in trouble for harassing the elderly.

So I just simply smiled and said, I’m married, uncle.

Bun…In the Oven

Hubby practically ran out the door this morning and asked me to water the plants. Usually that’s his forte. He loves the gardening stuff. I just love the flowers that bloom mostly. But he was just late to work. Then Chanel came up to me, looking all cute and HUNGRY. So I fed her.

Then I did the laundry, had breakfast while planning my day. Mom told me that they might be going to Aussie in December. So bye-bye to me. If all things go according to plan, I WON’T be able to leave the house from October to December. Because there’s a bun in the oven, so to speak. I’m knocked up. Pregnant. Expecting.

Funny thing is, I think my cat is the first to know that something was up. She was extra affectionate, and I almost always found her laying at my feet one week before I found out.

Call it many things, it only means one thing. Unlike many other couples I know who get excited and over the moon happy, hubby and I react first and foremost with nervousness. Happy, but nervous. A baby is a huge responsibility that you’ll carry for the rest of your life.

Sometime last year, I sat with grandma.

“Opah, so when do you think you can feel less worried about your children? Like, is it once they get married?”

She paused a few seconds.

“I never get less worried. You worry all your life about your children. Even now.” Her youngest is 40.

As with every commitment, we’re very cautious. You probably wouldn’t think that we gave a seconds thought, but we actually gave it a year. Lol.

So when it’s finally happening, we’re quite unsure of how to act. Well, I’m still relatively active. I try swimming at least once every week. Or go for walks at FRIM. Or long walks at the mall. Counts right?

Hubby doesn’t know my limits so he just takes cues from me. Well, I don’t know my limits either. The other day we went cycling for 2 hours at FRIM. I went very slow, careful not to overexert or get overheated. Then we made the mistake of telling other people, who immediately jump to conclusion that I was being ‘selfish’ and was endangering the little bun.

Well for one, I’ve led a somewhat active life even before, so I thought it’s quite normal for me. It isn’t a new thing that I’m trying now. Plus I was being EXTRA careful.

Also, its funny how people started judging. Like, ‘you’re 3 months along? But you’re hardly showing!!! My friend already had a bulge this big when she was 3 months along… Your baby must be tiny!!!’ My baby ain’t tiny, he/her is the perfect size for his/her age!! That was the first rush of motherly instinct I’ve ever felt.

Also it’s weird when people start touching your stomach once they know. Especially when there’s nothing much to see or touch right now. Normally I would go, “ade lemak je sekarang…HA HA… HA.” ~_~ And actually see the hint of excitement disappear from their eyes.

Then I start questioning why am I tiny? Yeah and you wonder what ladies think about most of the time. I don’t usually give a hoot to things people say about me, but when it involves sensitive stuff, well.

Plus you’ve heard about pregnant ladies hormones. Oh my they’re REAL. So real. Like the invasion of the body snatchers. There’s an alien who actually loves eating chocolate, ice cream, and thank god, LOTS and lots of fruit that’s living in my body. And gags at the smell of food cooking, and body odor. And insists on taking naps in the afternoon. And suddenly hates pop music.

The joy, the joy. Anyways I’m still nervous. Very much nervous. Hubby sometimes is in denial. At one time he’ll be like, ‘are you sure you’re pregnant?’ And that kind of question isn’t something people ask once you’ve seen baby dancing on the ultrasound scan. Seriously hubs.

There’s still a long way to go, still many things to do and think about. Many plans that need to be carried out. And last but not least, many prayers and doas needed from you guys.

Thank you so much for reading through this monologue.

I’ll keep all of you in my prayers, insyaallah.

Dear 30 Year Old Me

It’ll be less than 5 years from now, but I hope you’re not the same person as I am now (I hope you look as young as I do though!) I hope you are 30 times better than I am now, someone I can look up to. I don’t know where will life take us. But I do know that you’re still dreaming big and aiming for the stars.

So how’s the family doing? How’s Chanel? Any kids yet? Will our first be a boy or a girl? Am I juggling work and family well? Is the husband working for a multinational company in a high flying position? So um, how’s the mandarin going? Are we healthy? Do we still go on weekend hikes or exercise together? Do I finally cook a mean soto ayam? Have we prepared for Haji? Are we living the life???

I know, too many questions. It’s like a good book I guess. You read chapter by chapter, trying to guess what’s what but you end up with more questions than answers. That is, until you get to one point when everything is revealed. I wonder if everything will be revealed at 30. Or maybe that’s just too young still. Maybe when I’m 60 or 70 I’ll be able to look back on my life and smile. It doesn’t matter. I just hope that you’re on the right path and that you’re happy.

I hope you’re treating both sets of parents well. I hope you make husband’s favorite mint tea everyday and still be his best friend. We’ve long established the secret of togetherness yeah? It’s honesty. Always, always. SHARE. Tell the truth. Communicate. Ego-less. Patience. Try not to be so annoying when you argue. Don’t try to be such a smart-a**. For goodness sake don’t go on a rampage because you’re making things WORSE. Have you learned how to say sorry without looking like you’ve just tasted a pinch of lemon? I really hope so. You have to be better than I AM.

I know you hate to look back. But don’t forsake where you come from. Don’t ever forget the people who left a mark in your life. Always have fun. Remember first year in college when you got stuck in Ipoh during midnight with friends and you took a shoddy cab that drove too fast, has no air cond or seat belt with a door that wouldn’t close? You and your friends were kinda terrified but laughed so loud once you made it back. Ok bad example, that was potentially dangerous.

Don’t forget God. Remember that you’re returning to him sooner or later, so get your act together.

Well you know I could write forever but mostly it'll be questions. You can’t help me out with that, can you? Because you’ll have your own questions then. Whatever it is, whatever life throws at us, I just hope to be steadfast and be the best khalifah we can in this world. That’s the reason why we’re here anyway isn’t it? We’re merely weak human beings on this vast land. Everything that we own while alive means nothing when we die. The only thing that matters is how much good you’ve done while living. O I really hope you’ve shared a lot of goodness. Inspired people to be their best. That sort of thing ya know?

Last words, always have the courage to be yourself ;)

Where Have I Been??

I don’t know what’s happening to this blog anymore. Though I am to blame 99% I get that. Another 1% is my laptop! It keeps crashing and I got really fed up. It’s 4 years old, an old grandpa in human years. So that’s why I got a new one!



I have to be honest. My favorite laptop ever is a macbook. They say, once you go Mac, you’ll never go back! BUT… macbook has its cons.. example software incompatibility, premium price. Well not really. Okay fine, actually hubby persuaded me to get a Dell. There were a couple of hiccups especially with windows 8 but I think I’m getting the hang of it now. Hence, back to blogging attempt!

Moving on… me and husband reached our first year anniversary!! Wee. Can’t believe it’s so fast! I remember getting married like it was yesterday! How did we celebrate? Over the phone and one day late. Thanks to husband’s offshore assignment. Not that I’m grumbling or anything.

Honestly it’s quite hard because I’m soo used to having him around, with our little routines, in our little house and with our little cat. We moved in together literally since day 1 which was on our wedding day. We usually look forward to plan our weekends together. Get excited over our planned trips. It’s always big trips or little trips. Or little projects. The last time he left for a while which was in November, we were in the midst of planning our balcony garden.

But since he had to stay offshore for a couple of weeks at a time, I moved back into my parents house. That is, if he’s not around because he doesn’t want me to be alone (aww) and also because I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE. Ladida. Now it’s like I’ve never moved out!

With my new swanky laptop and old-found life, I wish to be blogging again because I’ve missed it so muchhh!!! God knows who even reads the stuff I write, but to those who bear with me, I say THANK YOU, XIE XIE may we be friends (or net friends) and grow old together.

Till next time, ciao! xx

11 Months Married

Shoots! Almost 1 year. That fast???

Technorati Tags: gasp,so fast

Pulau Lang Tengah

After the many ketupats, duit raya, kuah lodeh, lemangs and open houses, I finally have got some time to blog about my trip to Lang Tengah!

For those of you who are not familiar with the place, Pulau Lang Tengah is a little island in between Pulau Redang and Pulau Perhentian.

We actually planned a three day trip, but it turned into a four day trip. Then taking dad’s advice, we slept one night in Rantau Abang. It turned out to be good advice, because the following day, we had time to have a nasi dagang breakfast in Kuala Terengganu, and arrive at the island as energetic as monkeys are when they’re fed bananas.

I won’t be writing much this time. Enjoy the photos from the trip!



The resort we stayed at was called D’coconut lagoon, a resort with a pristine beach front. Also pristine because we had access to all the beaches in Lang Tengah. The island is in fact, so small that there’s only 4 resorts.





  



The in-house restaurant has delicious ala carte food.





 

 

Hubby went scuba diving.








 




We also took underwater photos.









Underwater photos were taken using our compact camera in this beauty:







Till next time!

xoxo.

Same Time, Last Year

Reflecting back to one year ago, July was a flurry of things. I was about to start working in real estate, I was about to get married. Sometimes we don’t really know where we’re heading. We can only plan, but we never expect the twists and turns that life dumps on you.

I never expected to be married at 24, I just thought it was more wishful thinking than reality. I guess I’ve got both sets of parents to be thankful for because they were so supportive even though husband barely graduated at the time.

We discussed about where we were going to stay. That was our longest and most serious discussion. Both of our parents just can’t wait to kick us out of the house. Of course, lovingly. Honestly I wanted to stay with our parents for at least 6 months after getting married but my parents kept pushing us to stand on our own feet.

So we started living together by ourselves exactly the same night that we got married. And it was weird at first. I mean, first we weren’t allowed to even be seen together, suddenly mom & dad were waving to us goodbye as we drove at 12 am together in public! It was exciting but I kept looking over my shoulder for Jais to stop us especially when we checked into the hotel that night.

Just after the wedding I asked mom how she felt about the whole thing. She said, well, that was fast. We went from choosing fabrics to countless boutiques, to vendors to photographers. Honestly at the rate that we were going, we could be professional wedding planners. But we had a blast!

Maybe it’s just me, but all the good things seem to happen during Ramadan. Same case for the year before. People call it the month of blessings, and so many people get to witness this. I’m just glad that I’m one of them.

I’m ending the post with a photo of me and hubs during iftar last weekend.


Ramadan kareem everyone =)

Newfound Love

Before I was married, the weekends seem to expand to fit in a lot of activities. Being brought up in a huge extended family, 14 aunts and uncles, 20+ girl cousins, there’s bound to be something on during the weekend. If not, my parents would always have some plans, if not, I would make them with my brothers, and more often, I made plans with the girl friends.

But ever since I got married and moved out, it became quite a challenge to fill it up. Plus, everyone from the family seems to think that they don’t have to invite us to gatherings anymore. My mom didn’t call us to join bacaan quran at Wan’s grave. Hint: I still wanna join every barbeque, luncheons, soirees, holiday, whatever.

In the beginning, yes we needed the privacy, only because there was so much to get used to. Visiting husband’s family, setting up the house, buying stuff for the kitchen, juggling housework/work role. I think we got the rhythm about right when I quit my real estate job in March. (To be honest, I miss it soo much)

Anyways, one day:
Me: Let’s watch a movie tonight
Husband: What movie?
Me: What to expect when you’re expecting
Husband: We can download that from P**
Me: Ok fine. So what do we do this weekend? Omg lets go to flea market in Jaya 1
Husband: We need to save.
Me: Go Singapore!!!
Husband: Need to save. Why don’t we walk at FRIM?
Me: Huh?

Aaand Eureka! We found our answer to a cheap, thrilling, not to mention healthy way to spend the weekend!

Jungle trekking. Hiking. Whatever you call it. Lalala.

Not that I don’t love outdoor sports, you know I do. I just never liked hiking that much. Wet branches, mosquitoes, leeches, and you never know whats lurking on the tree branches. I'm slowly getting used to it.

This week we climbed Bukit Tabur. Will write about it soon!

Ciao!

PhotographR

So when it’s all set and done, all that’s left is the memory. What are weddings without their photographers?



Pictures are extremely important to nostalgic me. I have 7 diaries and 320 gb worth of personal pictures. I keep movie tickets and receipts. I don’t let my family members touch my room even though I’ve moved out. I kept magazines since 1999. My husband calls me a hoarder, but that’s just serious accusation.





I was in the midst of short listing my photographers. It was between one really famous photographer (Udey Ismail), and another less famous (Nonofara, photolicious) which were respectively good. I also liked Saiful Nang, but I’d rather buy a superbike with the money. I actually met up and discussed terms and vision with these people and almost put down the deposit.

One day my brother suggested that I should take a look at his friend’s work. Me being me, didn’t pay any mind until he shoved the laptop under my nose with his friend’s website on screen.

I was blown away. Please note that this isn’t an exaggeration. His pictures were personal, beautifully candid, tasteful, and full of emotion.















His name is Raffi Thng! Honestly I’ve practically booked him for my children’s aqiqah.
Now goodies for nostalgic people like me.



What is this? A present for me?



Super duper thick and heavy. This was sent to be bound in the USA. For reals, people.



Huge pictures and layout pleasing to the eye.



A good professional photographer not only has to take awesome pictures, but they have to produce awesome images and compile everything. From first contact to delivery service.



Look how sturdy the pages are!



Another goodie—the coffee table booklet!



Full page picture goodness.



Sighs. The CD of softcopies received with tasteful wrappings and ribbons.



And finally, sturdy elegant frames.

I’m ganna be downright honest here. He does not ask you to do stupid poses. He prompts and suggests, and has a keen eye on the perfect moment. One time I said, husband, carry me. We goofed around, and when suddenly husband actually carried me, Raffi instantly snapped pictures.

Most people I asked would describe his pictures as ‘candid’, ‘with feeling’, ‘beautifully edited’, ‘has taste’.
There’s much to be said about Raffi Thng, but enough talk. Check out his work at www.raffithng.com.