Friday, June 9, 2017

Full Moon

Another year has passed.. and it feels like deja-vu. Ramadan is here again, back so soon when the memories of last Ramadan are still fresh.

Today I heard a news of a blogger who passed away at 29 because of cancer. It shocked me in a way that I didn't expect. I didn't know her personally but I read her blog since forever. The news left me feeling fragile but at the same time extremely grateful for my life.

Lately I've been thinking about mortality. I even discussed it with hubs and friends. Now that I've got children, I kind of feel responsible to be healthy and live as long as I can... so I can take care of them. I just can't imagine someone else taking care of my babies. I don't drive nearly as reckless as I did during my solo days either.

The way that the blogger went.. I think is the best way to go.. with family members by her side, reading quran and giving her doas. In Ramadan, on Friday. In a way it sounds like she hit the jackpot. How will we go? Will it be in a dignified way, with a warning?


"Our lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire" [2:201]


Suddenly all other worries sound pesky and almost meaningless. What was I worrying about yesterday? Everything is temporary. But to pass on means that you're on your way to the permanent life.

Suddenly it seems like I was overreacting everytime I complain about being pregnant again. Or those times when I was angry at Naila for being hyperactive. Or that time I fought with hubs over something silly. What nonsense.

May Allah forgive us this Ramadan and triple fold our deeds.


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