2020 Thus Far

We're halfway through 2020. Oh boy does the year go by really fast. 

I've hardly had time to process what was happening. There's a lot of disappointment career-wise this year, many things didn't go like it was supposed to. But what am I talking about, some people around the world are starving from the lockdown so who am I to complain. 

When things get tough, all you have to do is keep swimming. (Dory's voice appearing in my head)

I'm doing something new this year, which is quite exciting.

All your life, you've thought of yourself as one thing but I'm good at proving people wrong. I had been laughed at in the past for my presentations because I FREEZE. That's what I do during presentations. Literally. 

So when the agency bosses invited me to share my story with new recruits, I said yes and tried to dissociate myself from the past. And I'm happy to have shared my story twice this year and one time via zoom. 

It might not be a big deal to other people but it definitely is a challenge for me. 

I've also started a youtube channel as a marketing avenue for my real estate work. Finally took the plunge. We'll see where does this go. 

2020.. to the year of challenge, pivot and growth. Half way there!

DAY 16 Movement Control Order Covid19

Today is an especially hard day. I tried to be productive by updating my website but with 3 kids running around it's just impossible. I really lost my temper today with the kids. It's not really their fault, they have been stuck indoors for 16 days.

Yesterday we received all the toys I ordered from lazada. I figured it will keep them distracted for a while. Honestly I was never one who likes buying more stuff for the kids. In fact, their toys are quite minimal.. and we do toys rotation every few weeks. However, staying home and not going out for 2 weeks does things to you so I caved and bought them those toys.

I don't think it works any better than giving them a cardboard box to decorate. In fact, playing with cups, decorating cardboard boxes and drawing with youtube keeps them occupied longer.

I was mulling over the idea of sending my son to my parents who are 5 minutes away. We'll see how that goes.

The days are up and down. Some days are productive, some days are just a downer, but I notice it to be worse when I don't start the day with a 10-15 minute family exercise.

I really hope the mco will be over by 14 April. I really miss going to work, seeing people and some semblance of normal life. Take care everybody, let's flatten the curve.

DAY 14 Movement Control Order COVID 19

I believe we need to thrive no matter in what situation we're in. We as humans, the strong ones pivot and adapt to changes. And I believe that's what we need to do. I foresee a difficult unknown future.

In the immediate future,
what would working be like?
what would Ramadan be like?
what would Raya be like?
would we be able to hold big events again?
How long will this go on?

Just thinking about it and listening to the news makes you really anxious.

I've started reading quran in the morning again.
This is definitely a test and how do you fare?
Only god knows what will happen, and the only logical thing to do now is to turn to god.

Confide in him about your fears, about your anxiety.

We don't know anything about how things will pan out and I think I've accepted that. That's not going to change. This might go on for a long time, which we also don't know.

I'm ready for all possibilities.

Be strong everyone, we're in for a bumpy ride.

DAY 12 Movement Control Order Covid 19

The hardest part of the movement control order is to keep the kids occupied because if they're not, they'll be fighting like cats and dogs.

It's easy to be fixated on our lives within the small four walls everyday but I keep reminding myself that this catastrophe is bigger than all of us.

I cannot imagine running a business and having to close down for a month. Yet, still having to pay rent and workers wage. I know my previous business wouldn't have survived.

Me and hubs are bracing ourselves for a longer control order. We need to work on what we have now rather than thinking about going back to our normal. Otherwise it'll be depressing.

I've been throwing myself into analyzing stocks. When I'm obsessed, I'm obsessed.

I'm grateful for being in a position to help rather than be helped.

I'm grateful for my family
I'm grateful for my apartment
I'm grateful for cat
I'm grateful for my work
I'm grateful for my dryer
I'm grateful for my notebook
I'm grateful for the internet

I'm grateful to those working so hard on the front lines while we get to be safe and warm in our homes.
I'm grateful for our new rulers
I'm grateful for those working hard from home, teaching people their knowledge for free
I'm grateful for having food to eat.

Take care and stay safe everyone.
We can get through this! 

DAY 9 Movement Control Order Covid-19

3 days ago, hubs tested negative for covid19. That's a weight off my shoulder, especially when I started sniffling and coughing too.

Turns out its just a normal nasty cold.

The days are normalizing. I don't even have to think about what I'll do. It's now almost a routine. Either me or hubs will wake up to make the kids' milk. Then we'll do chore dance effortlessly. If he did the milk, then I start breakfast, feed the kids.

The kids will then shower for 10-15 minutes, usually a bubble bath request.
It's a simple mark in the day. Shower in the morning to start the day. Shower in the evening to end the day.

Yesterday I decided to start making more video content. I don't usually know how to ramble on for a long time because my monologue is in my head. However, no time is better than now to learn rambling about nothing!

I'm starting to form this routine in my house:

wake up, solat
make milk
read quran
make breakfast & feed kids while watching Property brothers or anything on HGTV
shower
give kids shower
Hubs start work via video conference
tidy up house
exercise with kid's video choice
Whatsapp time with friends/ family/ clients


===== 10.30am by this time

Do some kind of activity with kids,
usually to give them a choice.. artwork or toy rotation
sneak away after playing with them for 30 minutes
Start my work - more content creation & breaks in between to handle kids
Kids watch TV or play games on the ipad

===== 2pm

The boys nap for an hour
I'll read a book/latest news browsing during this quiet time
Order food or cook food
Obsessively browse latest world happenings
Whatsapp time with friends/ family/ clients
Let kids active play, jump run, physical activity

=====7pm

dinner
kids shower
final kids tv show
make milk
brush kids teeth
Kids bedtime

======8.30-9pm

By day 9, the situation is getting bad out there but I'm very confident with the way the government is handling things. It's starting to make me feel safe. BNM just announced a 6 month automatic moratorium on all loans which is huge for the country.